[benjo]

hi guys,

after reading about this poor girl and her family the other day
i couldn't get them out of my head, so this is my tribute to them
god bless madeleine mccann and family,  please comment guys it does mean a lot
thank you all,


          


 
             MADELEINE
        =--==--==--==--=

 sleeping beauty stolen in the night
 three years old taken out of sight
 mum n dad came home madeleine was gone
 and the tears are falling six years on

 where's my baby
 madeleine

 beautiful eyes an angels smile
 she's always there in her mothers mind
 keep on searching no stone unturned
 into her mothers arms she must be returned

 madeleine, madeleine
 where's my baby
 madeleine
 
 holding her picture touching her face
 scent on her pillow devouring every trace
 lay on her bed she imagines her there
 hands clasped together payer after prayer

 and a mother cries

 where's my baby
 where's my baby
 madeleine, madeleine

 daddies girl his beauty queen
 his little princess all his dreams
 a darkened room no way out
 his soul is trapped in the night he shouts

 where's my baby
 madeleine

 mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm

 sleeping beauty
 stolen in the night
 three years old
 taken out of sight

 where's my baby
 where's my baby
 madeleine madeleine...

 

 © copyright house all rights reserved...

 

[BooBoo]

Such a beautiful but sad piece of work here. Works well on the emotional level but also flows really well!

[benjo]

hi booboo,

 thanks so much for your feed back, tony...

[Kevin j]

its good, a very sad emotional song...
i think you might need to take another look at it though
it was very noticeable, to me anyway, that there was no real
 ryming scheme, usually it would b something like abab in tge
verses but yours didnt really match up

hope this helps 

[benjo]

hi kevin j,

 mmm, I think we all get different things from everything in words
 but hey, thanks for taking the time to read it mate tony

[KEVIN B]

hi tony, a worthy subject to write about, flows quite well, the best bit for me  was second verse, really enjoyed that, !!
well done fella

kev !

[benjo]

hi kev,

 thanks for those comments mate means a lot coming from you
 glad you liked it,   I don't know why but things like this topic always get to me,
 thanks again mate take care tony...

[seriousfun]

A very emotive topic. Well told.

As kevin j pointed out the rhyme could use some attention, but for me it was just in the third verse. The rest of the verses seem to adhere to aabb and that is fine even though some of the rhymes are fairly distant the still work. But V3 stands out as an odd verse with no rhyme as. IMHO i would correct that.

Nicely worded lyric and it captures the story well.

[Jess]

It's a good song, lots of emotion in there, I can only really second what's already been said. For me, the songs a bit too 'personal' (with things like using her name) I don't know, but I only really use names if I genuinely know the person. Also the song would be more relatable or open to personal interpretation if you just talked about someone going missing opposed to her specifically. But that's just my two cents 

[benjo]

hi guys

 thanks so much for your feed back it really means a lot

 ALLAN,  yes I'm going to take a good look at v3 see if I can get that put right,
             when I wrote this each line was cut in half more or less
             and I thought it looked to long so I joined the lines more
             but thanks again allan great comments take care mate tony...

 JESS,    I see what you mean about the name thing,
             it's basically feelings on poor madeleine McCann, and then going into the parents heads
             I imagine that's what they must be screaming every day and night
             thanks again jess for your feed back means so much take care tony... 

[Sing4me88]

A very emotive song and one that addresses a topic that is really hard to confront in an admirable way.

The lyrcis are full of emotion.I like the second verse best. There is plenty of celestial references and images that depicts the innocence of  child very aptly. A nice simple chorus with good repetition. The only slight problem I have is that the chorus seems to change slightly every time it appears. Some times it's a wee bit shorter other times it's that bit longer. I don't know how that fits the flow. A minor issue really in the grand scheme so well done with this one

[benjo]

hi sing4me88,

 thanks so much for the lovely feed back
 yes I love trying these kinds of lyrics they are very demanding
 you have to really try to get the right word to say the right thing
 i'm just taking a look at the third verse it's been said about it not fitting well
 and I do agree so if you get another chance to look in let me know what you think of the change
 but thanks again for the comments take care tony...

[Dogmax]

Lovely words Tony i think they say it all, really heartbreaking case that, parents worse nightmare.

Well Done.

[benjo]

hi guys,

 can't thank you enough for your great feed back
 as it was rightly mentioned by KEVIN J  and  ALLAN 
 I've rewritten v3 I hope this fits better please let me know what you all think
 thanks again for your time in reading and commenting tony...


 DOGMAX,  hey cheers for that i'm made up you liked it means a lot coming from you mate tony...

                                   

[Saeed AlSuri]

Hello Tony ..

Great interpretation for a very difficult subject .. to be the second voice speaking of disasters situation in a life of family lost there daughter ..

very emotional topic need lot's of care in putting it to a song .. you did a great job of it .. very well done Tony ..


Cheers ..