[basshead]

hi all would like brutal honesty on this one please. Came up with it couple weeks ago i think, was quite happy with it, bit smug about the ( for Me ) meaty vox then someone pointed out it sounded a bit like someone else which was ok then the misses named that tune, which is faster but now it's nagging me and I can't decide whether to drop or develop this idea. Apologies for it only being one verse and a way too long intro-but it still at the idea stage. just to save your ears nothing happens after ! verse of vox-it just loops forever !
thank you
adi

https://soundcloud.com/bittenbyfish/hard-city-working-title

[Kafla]

Work on this please!!!!

Riff had me right from the start - melodies pouring out - just needs refining 

[Neil C]

Its fine when you start singing and when you've bass only. 
The riff is B Adams slowed down but nobody owns those three chords. You could of course play with slight variation or indeed reverse the 2nd and 3rd ones, which you do in a bass line later on. Also suggest take the chorus off the guitar.
I hope that helps

Neil