[flossie]

Hello all,

Really pleased to produce a song after a long break!  I would really welcome lots of constructive criticism here pretty please!  

Unfortunate title I know, so if anyone has other suggestions...?!!!

Thanks
x


https://soundcloud.com/hewood29/one-love

[S.T.C]

How about` UNO AMORE`have it in Italian..

Well what can i say,,it`s very soppy

Romantic ballad in true Flossie style..piano is nice as usual  .

Needs some drums to create some extra dramatic effect .

[fischermans]

Hello
Love this sentimental mood and the wonderful piano. May a beautiful song for a duet in the chorus. Hope the break was the last one for a long time.
Alexander

[ShinyThang]

Just piano & voice and oozing quality. But not content with that you have to write great songs too! Flossie, I'm still catching up with your back catalogue and it's by far the nicest job on my to-do list. This is a lovely song that wouldn't sound out of place in a Disney musical. And I say that as a fan of Disney.

Just a techie point ... What is that thump between 2:33 & 2:34 ? Took me a while to realise it was on the track and not somewhere else in the house

[flossie]

@songsthatcry ooh maybe I could get Il Divo to sing it then!!!  Seriously though I am partial to  lovey dovey songs and I am rubbish at metaphorical stuff ,  I didn't record to click with this one but when I do it properly I will try that out!

@fischermans thanks and hello! Yes maybe it could work as a duet  I've missed writing songs and  I'm definitely returning to some proper songwriting for a while now!

@shinythang thank you for the massive compliment and I'm delighted with the Disney reference!  The thump is distracting me, I keep thinking like you it's a noise in the house!  I recorded most of this in one take, with piano and voice and so nothing went through the headphones and we have builders next door - they were making quite a bit of noise, maybe it was them!!!   

[habiTat]

Ahhh Flossie, my heart melts every time I hear that piano 

This is just lovely, I really can't fault it at all, I'm sorry I can't think of anything else to say, I think it's perfect. I'd love to have you do some piano work on something of mine one day, it really is something special.

hab..

[Kafla]

Hey Floss,

Everything you do is first class you know 

I wonder if you could build this song more dynamically - try whispering the first verse & chorus - hear a pin drop type thing - I sense you are trying this but it could be more fragile again

Then go for it the way you do from 1.40 - build some orchestration in here

Sometimes I struggle a little to hear the sections in your songs - verse , bridge , chorus etc you always make an impact on me - I would love to know how you write

I always write little section - that's a chorus , that's a verse etc and sometimes when I write a verse I think oh that chorus I had would fit that perfect

Just a little bit of definition in your compositions would really make them instantly hummable

That aside I usually fckn love your songs after 3 listens so feel free to ignore my ramblings 

[Dutchbeat]

ha, that amazing vocal....and a great song as always, very musical this one

super....amazing...stunning

as for a title, perhaps..

never gonna find my way back home (without you)

perhaps too long???

[flossie]

@Kaf  Thanks so much for the suggestions, I think that's a great idea, for this one (as usual) I sat at my keyboard and played for a bit then started singing along, I have my DAW set on record so that if I hear anything I like I can go back and modify and expand on it. I then added in some BV's. I usually post songs I have recorded to click, but now we have this great new section, I thought before I spend time doing this I could get some advice from here!
 
I always seem to 'get' the verse quickly and the chorus is more of a struggle.  I know what you mean  and you're completely right about the structure and definition I even had the same feedback from an A&R that I need to be more distinctive and adventurous with chords/melody etc.  I think if I could come up with a stronger chorus in all of my songs I would be satisified with my writing finally. So I promise myself I'll try writing a different way, for instance start with the chorus first, or just sing away to myself and then fit the chords around that, and then I just fall into the same way of writing again.  I don't like change!!! I really need to do this though!

I really value everyone's opinion here and I'm particularly  pleased to receive your help, thank you xxx

@Dutchbeat Thanks for the suggestion!  Maybe a bit too Rick Astley??!!!  Thanks for the compliments as well! xxx

[flossie]

Forgot to say to Hab

Course I will lay down a piano track for you 

x

[habiTat]

Forgot to say to Hab

Course I will lay down a piano track for you 

x

Excellent, thanks Flossie 

I'll be in touch, it might be a while cos I'm working on my concept album 'song by song'.

I have an idea for the final track that I'd love to have your help on...

hab..

[montydog]

Mmmm....sweet. Lovely vocals as ever and that gorgeous piano. I agree with kafla - a little more definition between sections would work wonders but really this is pretty close to beyond criticism.

[calmlondon]

Hey Flossie,

You're clearly a talented pianist and songwriter (prolific too) with a penchant for writing tender love songs that scream song placement.  You seem to be in touch with your emotions in a way I can only dream of. I wouldn't be able to write a song like this if someone held a gun to my head.

Here's my humble feedback on One Love.


- Piano intro just perfect. You got soul girl.

- The first verse, bridge and chorus are very very pleasing and make me want to hear more.

- I would add a breather between the first v/b/c and the next v/b/c

- I think the structure of the first v/b/c works so well - I'd repeat it exactly. I feel you jump to the chorus too quickly on the second section.

- I'm not sure if you should leap to the high notes on the second chorus - I would weave the lower and higher register together. I'd not leap to the higher register until the last chorus (sorry I don't know the exact term - I have no muscial theory whatsoever).

- I'd add a longer transition between the second chorus and middle eight, and maybe make the middle eight a stunning piano instrumental instead of vocal.

- Fab harmonies and lilting piano throughout.

Great song Flo.

[flossie]

@montydog thanks I will definitely try that

@calmlondon without doubt one of the most useful feedbacks I have ever received, thank you so much, by the way I prefer your lyric writing a million times over to mine but thanks  

[crystalsuzy]

Hi Flossie...WOW!!...what a voice...man I wish I could sing like that...and the piano is stellar...the whole song and production really grabbed me...maybe you could add 'burning' to the title...there could be a little more separation between the v/b/c/ and I think you could take off with a piano solo in there somewhere, but overall I have noting but admiration for this song ...thanks for this share