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Avaritia (SeriousFun added instruments) - habiTat

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habiTat

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« on: May 01, 2013, 10:00:45 PM »
***EDIT*** new version -  http://soundcloud.com/habitatsongs/avaritia-2nd-demo-seriousfun

Full detail down there in the thread, thanks Allan :)


Ok guys. here it is, the first sketch demo of the first really big track on the concept album I'm writing.

This follows on from Induco & Luxuria (lust)


This is my initial idea for Avaritia (greed)

I'm trying to link all these songs together, both in how they flow and also lyrically to tell a story of the seven deadly brothers.. This has been a bit of a challenge for me and is very much a demo, with first take vocals and some basic mixing to try to get a feel for it. I will be re-recording a lot of it and tweaking bits and pieces to improve it.. I appreciate it's not my best work as yet..  :D

That's where you guys come in  ;D

All suggestions, comments, ideas are greatly welcomed..

http://soundcloud.com/habitatsongs/avaritia-sketch-demo-seven

Avaritia

I took all of the time
I could carry
To plot the theft of your heart
You wouldn't have me
I tried to take you
But you didn't want me


You said that you couldn't be
Just a trophy
Sat beside me on thrones
Cast in beauty
That someday I would grow tired
And empty


The hunger drives me
I can't do without it
I take the words from your mouth
When you shout it
If I can't add you to
My great collection

Then goo...
Goo..

I stripped you and robbed you
And left you so cold

The wood from your fire
 I Stole and i sold

But rattling round
This palace of gold

I'm all on my own....
« Last Edit: May 13, 2013, 09:16:35 PM by habiTat »

Neil C

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« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2013, 11:33:10 AM »
Really good, with a slight medieval feel. Great words, I like guitars and the acoustic solo.
If I'm being harsh then I'm not entirely convinced about the middle section. There's nothing wrong with it per se but it feels like it belongs to a different song, although it resolves back to the main piece well.
My hats off to your ambition and ingenuity.
:)
Neil
songwriter of no repute..

Dutchbeat

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« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2013, 01:21:32 PM »
i think it is good, and it does have an acient and authentic feel


the running bass drum, i think that doesn't work, just my opinion, i think that is a shame....

but i think the song is very impressive!!!!

perhaps some very high female backing vocals... (the aaaaaahs), i think that would match very well


Kafla

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« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2013, 06:12:41 PM »
It's coming along nicely Hab!

I am not sure about the guitar sound you get - particularly strummed - it just lacks resonance - like a nylon string being strummed


That aside I really think that these songs are forming your best work

I think that at the end you should invite members to add little flourishes here or there - it's such a cool project

And the solo - wooooooooooo - brilliant  ;D

habiTat

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« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2013, 08:21:43 PM »
Cheers guys,

@Neil, medieval was the feel I was hoping to achieve, so thanks for that, I hope the middle part will sit better in the re-record once I've learnt it :)

@Dutchy, The drums... hmm they are my nemesis  >:(  I really wanted drums on this, kind of acoustic, simple drums but my only resource is garageband and the choices are limited.. any ideas?

@Kaf, Thanks, you're right about the guitar, I am thinking maybe I'll dust off the 12 string for this part. It might give a fuller, 'richer' sound anyway as it's quite jangley.

Thanks for listening and thinking guys, I really appreciate it :)

montydog

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« Reply #5 on: May 10, 2013, 08:46:58 AM »
I think that this a really catchy tune and you've pretty much got everything you need already. It's a lovely melody and has a medieval feel but not in a overpowering way. I don't think the background vocals work but otherwise this is well judged. I'm very impressed with this - I think it's one of the best songs you've written. I loved it.

seriousfun

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« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2013, 09:02:49 AM »
I really like this, only complaint being the slight murkeyness of the guitar. Defo a medieval feel to it and wonder if it could do with some violins or mandolin sounds to help enhance that feeling?

If you want I have some kontakt instruments that would suit this era and would be happy to record a stem of violins and mandolins and anything else I think might be appropriate and then you just use whatever sections you feel would fit. Just let me know if you would like me to do this and get me an mp3 so I can synch the recording stems for you.

Allan.

habiTat

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« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2013, 11:21:01 AM »
I really like this, only complaint being the slight murkeyness of the guitar. Defo a medieval feel to it and wonder if it could do with some violins or mandolin sounds to help enhance that feeling?

If you want I have some kontakt instruments that would suit this era and would be happy to record a stem of violins and mandolins and anything else I think might be appropriate and then you just use whatever sections you feel would fit. Just let me know if you would like me to do this and get me an mp3 so I can synch the recording stems for you.

Allan.

Wow thanks Allan, that would be great. If I make it downloadable on soundcloud, would that be usable? It's already recorded to 160bpm and my guitar was 'in tune' so it should all fit together ok.


seriousfun

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« Reply #8 on: May 10, 2013, 11:28:32 AM »
Yup that would be fine, I'll download it and then give you lots of options for the song and you can just pick and choose what ever if any that suits.

Allan.

habiTat

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« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2013, 11:56:32 AM »
Yup that would be fine, I'll download it and then give you lots of options for the song and you can just pick and choose what ever if any that suits.

Allan.

That'd be awesome, thanks. I can't edit soundcloud from my phone but I'll make it downloadable when I get home later.

Cheers :)

Alan Starkie

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« Reply #10 on: May 11, 2013, 07:46:02 AM »
I'm not sure about the intro. It doesn't go anywhere for me but it does fit the whole concept album format ok.

The second section is great! The reverb is perfectly suited to the vocal style and I like the simple guitar. Mandolin would sound great too either with or replacing the guitar.

This is a really promising start to your concept album and I look forward to what comes next.

Alan.

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« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2013, 08:27:03 PM »
i'm digging this mind, i just want to listen to the whole album rolled into one! medieval folk rock!
fly away and find my peace of mind...

https://soundcloud.com/man-of-simple-pleasures/tracks

habiTat

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« Reply #12 on: May 13, 2013, 09:13:29 PM »
Hey guys,

Many thanks for all your feedback so far..

I had a very kind offer from Allan Kilgour(Seriousfun) and he's recorded me some additional instruments for the song. I loved what he sent me and have used the strings and the bass in this new version. I think it enhances the overall feel of the song.

The rest of it is the same takes etc so there will eventually be a re-record of all vocals among other bits incl. the lead guitar.

I'd love to know your thoughts on this new, improved, serious fun version.. :)

Remember it's still a work in progress so all ideas greatly welcomed :)

http://soundcloud.com/habitatsongs/avaritia-2nd-demo-seriousfun

Boydie

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« Reply #13 on: May 14, 2013, 08:24:16 AM »
I wasn't hearing any bass on my crappy tablet speakers (will have another listen on my proper headphones when I can)

However, I thought the strings were perfectly subtle and sympathetic to the track so great job there Alan

I do think it has added "another level" to the track

I think there is a golden opportunity to improve the dynamics in the track - at around 2.20 I would be tempted to really "back off" and lose the finger picking and/or strumming - reintroducing the elements from around 2.40 when things start building for the chorus

Overall though I thought is was ace with the additional instrumentation
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Kafla

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« Reply #14 on: May 14, 2013, 09:13:50 AM »
Its still class and I still love it

Allan has done a cracking job indeed - seriously good and talented that bloke  :o

But just plain lazy not re-recording it to really make it shine after all Allan's hard work - no ::)

I love this and I love the project :)