Songwriter Forum > Feedback on Works in Progress
These days
S.T.C:
Ok.so here we have something else..not to be taken to seriously..but it`s listenable ..
https://soundcloud.com/songsthatcry/these-days
Hmm ..sort of about the vibe..Nivarnaish ....
Wrote today,recorded today...i`m supposed to be getting on with something for Flossie..which i will . ;)
Lyrics..bit cliche i admit...but theres only so many words in the universe.
i have no .........doubt ...................these days
theres a lot of it...... ,about............ these days
easy plays........ and ........................them lazy ways
a gold cup........ on a....................... silver tray.
i have no......... doubt...................... these days
there`s a lot of it...,about ...............these days
a copper sun...... melting ................in the haze
black diamond shades ......................blocking out the rays
Try as i might
i can`t see to the light
try as i must
i can`t see through the dust
these days
C-A-R-O-L-I-N-A (TRYING OUT THE FALSETTO} :D
jmacdon:
I love the live recording - guitar / vocal is perfect !
Mind you, I'd probably swap the phrase "no..........doubt" for "herpes" and you'll probably have a hit !!
Neil C:
Hi I can hear the Nivarna thing, words kind of suit it.
I think I'd be a bit clearer about the structure and variation of the chords/melody, which you do later on, to stop it meandering regardless as to whether it going to be pumped up rock or laid back.
Wasn't expecting that end part though as I was on Soundlcoud ;D ;D
Neil
S.T.C:
I started off wrong and just kept it going...i`m off today ,so will try and do a better copy..and omit the ending. ;)
montydog:
Some tuning issues on the vocal but otherwise this is rather lovely, particularly the guitar playing which is gorgeous. I like the format and the laid back approach. The melody could just do with clarifying a little. I think I can tell that you're not comfortable singing yet. I think the lyrics are great - simple, direct and effective.
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