[fischermans]

Hello all
I´m not sure what to do with this song.It´s a bit ironic but i´m not sure if it´s ok or to much so advise and opinions are much appreciated.
https://soundcloud.com/a-fisch-1/sensless-brain
Here the lyrics:
One step down and two steps high I never wanna fly
over the heads and high in the sky oh oh oh no, I never wanna fly
because it's to high
Not assailable heart like a stone I never wanna be alone
Don't want to be an open book oh oh oh, no one take a look
because may it's not good
Stopping here and stopping there you don't feel that anywhere
what you need to feel at home oh oh no, you always wanna go
because live is too slow
Don't find a place where you can life you feel everywhere a bitch
don't know why it's gone that way oh oh oh no you never wanne stay
because better go away
Thousand faces you see in your live there are moments you wanna dive
enough is enough so head down under oh oh oh, you screaming like thunder
because it's to deep
Running away and never come back forget every dream you had
turning back all screw's in your head oh oh oh no, live makes not sad
because just lying in the bed
Thinking for one thinking for two thinking for three thinking for four
do what you can and may it's enough oh oh oh yes, live is hard stuff
because I don't know
Regards Alexander

[jmacdon]

Hi Fisch

I think line 6 says it all 

I can see this being a hit in Greece or Turkey (I know i'm casting huge generic observations here, but I do see people dancing around smashing plates to this song!)

You are at your best when you do your slow, melancholic, emotion-ridden ballads.  Stick to those and I'll buy your records!

[fischermans]

Hi Fisch

I think line 6 says it all  

I can see this being a hit in Greece or Turkey (I know i'm casting huge generic observations here, but I do see people dancing around smashing plates to this song!)

You are at your best when you do your slow, melancholic, emotion-ridden ballads.  Stick to those and I'll buy your records!

Hello
Thanks for the feedback.It´s may better to stop working on this song and start selling my records to you.
Regards Alexander

[ShinyThang]

It's not that bad. I think it just needs a bit of lift in there somewhere courtesy of a middle 8 or the like. I thought I would have a listen to your other stuff on Soundcloud before responding. Diamonds and Pearls is beautiful and that just goes along without any real highs and lows so, I guess I'm talking rubbish (again).
Maybe revisit some of the lines & rhymes and post again?

[fischermans]

It's not that bad. I think it just needs a bit of lift in there somewhere courtesy of a middle 8 or the like. I thought I would have a listen to your other stuff on Soundcloud before responding. Diamonds and Pearls is beautiful and that just goes along without any real highs and lows so, I guess I'm talking rubbish (again).
Maybe revisit some of the lines & rhymes and post again?

Hello
Thanks for your kind words.I let the song at it is for the moment.Have to concentrate and work on better ones I think.
Regards Alexander