[man of simple pleasures]

hey there!

well i've dug this one out from the archives as they say, i've had this ages, recorded it about 3/4 years ago on me old 4 track tascam thingy, i even sparked up the electric guitar on it haha!

well seen as though this forum blues competition will be rolling on sometime over the next months i thought i may enter this one, it could be a simple kinda punky blues song, however it needs more work on it to get it somewhere being decent so i was wondering if anyone sees anything in this to want to work gave me a hand and work on it to get it better as an entry into the competition, if not no worries i'l see how things go!

cheers!

its called mr. rock n roller

mr rock n roller too bad somebody told her
theres fighting in the street gang
so get back on your feet man...

born outside into a hurricane
out of the water into the firing flame
i was born to become unseen
but now i'm around i'm gonna stick with...

[darreldo]

I love finding old songs that i had been recording and thought id lost.
This song has potential, id like to hear some heavy bass on it or distorted guitars, abit like black rebel motorcycle club.
Maybe speed it up abit, not so that its like a ramones song or owt as quick as that, just a slight tempo change.

[man of simple pleasures]

cheers darreldo! yeah just forget about this one like but maybes i could do sumit with it thinking on for this blues competition but we'l see, yeah i get what you saying! it could do with a drumbeat to get a better tempo going! yeah just needs to go a bit crazy with the guitars black rebel style in there!

[Sing4me88]

 The chorus 'mr rock n roller somebody shoulda told her' could be quite catchy if the melody was tweaked and strengthened a bit. I think if tempered right it might have some potential. The lyrics and the initial few seconds of the chorus at the start had me thinking this could work well as something a la Arctic Monkeys if that was a direction you want to go down with this, your song your call of course

[S.T.C]

I quite this..feels like early The WHO..in a couple of places...obviously needs some lyrics and story to it ..but good job.

[man of simple pleasures]

cheers for listening! hey if i could get it to sound like the arctic monkeys or the who i would be dancing but yeah i see what you saying singforme88 about the melody for that it does need a lot of work with it!

haha you got any spare storytelling lyrics songsthatcry

[Binladeda]

Hey   I like this...this could work very well.  I like the chords, they suit your 'wasted' vocal style   Of course, they would sound a lot better with drum and bass   I think it needs more melody...the lead guitar should 'cut across' the melody and have more sustain...and more of it   If it were mine...I would be looking to attack it more...make the chords more powerful, 'scream' the vocals a bit more....that sort of thing   Anyway, just a few thoughts.....hope they help  

[man of simple pleasures]

cheers bin haha yeah it helps i need help with it you make it sound so easy as to what to do with it haha, pity you couldnt conjure up a trick or two on your electric guitar for it haha!

[habiTat]

Hey mate,

This has Guy Richie film written all over it 

It's quite short, I reckon you could follow it with a real step up, ie drums, bass, the works. It's almost like this is the intro for a big rockin' tune.

Good stuff mate.

[Dutchbeat]

cool tune, MOSP, i think it would need drums to get the full spirit of the lyrics in it

[Kafla]

This is well cool!

Play it faster , growl into that mic and go for it

You really need to devlop this one - keep it simple - simple bass & drums - let your guitars and voice shine

[man of simple pleasures]

thanks hab, dutch and kafla for your comments! i reckon this is gonna be a mini project for me to start learning drums and bass garageband style i reckon!

cheers!

[calmlondon]

Yeah I second the other comments, this is a really cool track in the making. Defo work on this one as it's a strong track.  Obviously the production is early days but maybe tone down the tambourine, as it hurt the ears a bit. Keep it there but don't let it dominate the sound palette.

[man of simple pleasures]

thank you calmlondon!

yeah gonna work on this one its gonna be me garageband project see if i can come up with a half decent produced track!

cheers!

[tone]

I don't know if I'd go too rock - sure it would suit the song, but there's something in the lo-fi acoustic with tambourine and twangy electric guitar that has a certain charm, and is unexpected.

I'm thinking less the who, and more the rolling stones for this track.

I agree the tamb could be toned down a bit, but I quite like how abrasive it is. To me that's almost more punk than bog standard drums & bass bashing hell out of it.