[seriousfun]

This is a song I wrote about 6 years ago and is intact one of the first I ever penned. I recorded it way back then and recently revisited the song. This is new recording of the song with a number of changes but I am not happy yet with the way it is turning out. I don't know if it is the song itself or the arrangement or the way it is sung but something in there doesn't fit with me. As this is a true work in progress I am lookin for all suggestions on how to improve it right down to song structure and lyrics.

Thanks for helping out.

Going Nowhere
==========

https://soundcloud.com/allan-kilgour/going-nowhere

Lyrics are on sound cloud.

[Neil C]

Alan,
I'm enjoying this new slightly edgier style. The tune suits the lyrics and there some good lines in there eg 'Wheels give a scream and rivets pop'
Thoughts: I'd consider having the verses and choruses the other way around.
The "Rolling down the road" section has a strong minor chord when you sings "lots of open" which leads to places whereas the "dunno...& gauges..." is more powerful and crisp musically.
So I'd alter the structure and have less of the "dunno...& gauges..." parts earlier on and introduce a second set of words to the "Rolling down the road" section. Clearly you need to keep the last set where it sits as thats the story's ending.
I hope this helps and look forward to seeing where it ends up
 

[montydog]

I think your more recent song writing is a notch or two up from this. The production is good and vocally it's fine but I'm not sure about the actual quality of the song which may be why you're still not happy with it. I think you've moved on and now this is in the shade of stuff like "All Quiet On The Bayou". Just my honest appraisal 

[terrysains]

Feel free to laugh, but what I hear wrong with this is the song is about freedom, riding, but the music is about stopping!!
 Every time I try to go with the flow, the guitar stops me, like it is in neutral??? reving up, going nowhere, waiting at the lights,  (strum strum)
I think you should try more to make the music match the words. Terry Sains.

[habiTat]

Hey allan,

I like it but I see what you mean. The first thing to strike me is that the chorus sounds very similar to the verse. It might be worth revising the chorus's. get them to jump out more, maybe find a different chord sequence or sing it an octave higher or add harmonies or something...

That would be my first port of call. Great rocky song though, it's definitely got legs..

hab..

[Dutchbeat]

allright, that bass and drum are nice and steady, very pleasant

and a fun song

as far as ideas / tips, for some reason the sound of the vocal and the music are not the best match...but i don't know what to advise...it seems to me you need some other (high string?) sound or a higher vocal

i don't know, sorry, but it sounds like evrything is a bit too much in the same frequency range...

[Kafla]

It's got plenty of edge

The vocal sounds strained at times - the chorus is a great little hook but could be used as a pre chorus with a completely new chorus to really lift it into the stratosphere

But it's all put together well

More b side than single at the moment but steak that chorus and use it elsewhere 

[James Nighthawk]

The magic bullet for this track would be backing vocals

I fifth above as your starting point, evey other line on the chorus and certain other sections, with a descend to the melody at the end of each line.

At least: That is what came to me when I was listening and experimenting.

Equally, some call response on the backing vocals and/or some "oooh-oooh" to compliment to guitar "Baaa Baaa" tone-apart strikes.

Basically, I recon this song could soar with the right backing vocals arranged on it.

Imagine some Beatles tracks like "Help" and "She loves you" without the second (and third/fourth) vocal lines. They would lose so much.

Here...the right harmonies and counterpoints would make the track 

Just my thoughts on a cold listen

[Sing4me88]

Like this one. Great intro on the guitar and a good uptempo follow up throughout. Love the line 'Gauges droppin, Hear the pistons poppin'. I'm no musician but I loved the guitar in this one. It reminded me a bit of Seven Nation Army but with a bit of a Country Pop feel to it (if that made any sense). I think this will come on a treat with harmonies etc in a 'full' production.

[Michael]

I love the way this starts and builds up all that momentum, with the electric guitars coming in before the vocals start.
All in all, this has a more poppy feel to it than everything else I've heard from you so far.
For me the song comes along really nicely, until "I gotta keep on running" - with the short break after that I expected the song to come back to the "Rolling down the road" part (which I think sounds more like a verse anyway)

If it were me, I'd start with "Rolling down the road" as a verse, then one of the 5-lines parts ("dunno where I'm going") as chorus, followed by "rubber making rumble" as the 2nd verse and another chorus.
The guitar solo is very cool as a break. Maybe add in a bridge after that?
 Just my 2 cents, feel free to ignore...
I also really like James' idea about call responses.

Anyway, you're on to something with this, keep us posted about the finished version

[cena69]

its defenetly got an edge but i felt the tune does not fit in to the lyrics as good as your other stuff.
i would say if you do somthing like that make the tune either more country like or more folk.
don't take offense, but i like to try and help as i think it is always better to.

cena69