[mark.c]

Hey guys,

This is the first time i have ever written any lyrics and wanted to know if you guys thought they were any good. Obviously they will change when i start to put them to music but here they are anyway.

Its only the first 2 verses and a chorus;

Verse 1
I sit by my window at 8 everyday
I whisper I love you with glass in the way
The glass is transparent like my love for you
I wave through the window you smile back through

Verse 2
We go to the bar like on each Friday night
Someone’s on their way that she hopes I will like
A man marches in, she’s met someone new
My heart splits in two, if only she knew

Chorus
But can he wipe your tears away with a single joke
Do your friends still remind you he’s such a nice bloke
Would he step in the shadows to let your light glisten
See only your face in a room full of women
Make you feel safe now your family’s been weakened
Does he tell you he loves you for no apparent reason
Does he defend you so you don’t feel small
Because I still do them all

[Jess]

I like this! Verse 1 is so strong and the imagery throughout the whole song is great. The rhyming is strong and the theme is pretty relatable, especially the chorus- the only thing I would say is I don't like the word 'bloke' (maybe it's a personal thing) but I just think it sounds odd in songs, but anyway it's your song and it's a really good one

[mark.c]

Thank you very much for replying.

And for your kind comments!

I totally agree i am going to try and swap that out

[BooBoo]

I agree with Jess that the first verse is strong. It's very good for your first set of lyrics. A lot better than I wrote my first time!

[teprometo13]

This is a brilliant song - the chorus is the best part