Rhymes

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Musiknewb

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« on: April 08, 2013, 10:51:12 PM »
Hey
i want to write a song for a girl i know through the internet to get her to speak with me!
we spoke one time per skype but it didnt turn out very well and now she is kinda afraid of
speaking again. i thought maybe if i write a sonf her and sing it she would maybe like speak idk.
there is one problem: i just fail in writing son lyrics. so i thought you guys can help me.
i wrote a little something but i think its very bad and i cant realy come up with good rhymes...
so it would be cool to know how you solve that problem ... maybe u can just tell me what sounds totaly
stupid or just give some tipps to make it better:

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i was just afraid
scared that our love would fade
even though
we spoke befor but thats a while ago
it kinda seems
that you are the scared one
now, after those strange dreams
dont be shy
its nothing else to say than just hi
i want more than just to chat
i realy want to do more than that
so here i ask you
would you like to speak with me again?

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it feels kinda emberassing for me but i realy want to do this.
i hope you guys can help and if not thanks anyways!

ps:i got a crush on that girl and she also on me haha
ps2:my native language isnt english so im sry for mistakes

 :)

Jess

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« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2013, 11:05:15 PM »
It's very sweet, and quite a good song starter, the only thing I would say is don't scare her off by saying 'I want to do more than chat'...I think any girl would appreciate this song
"When writing a song, if your afraid to suck, you'll never write a note" -Jeff Boyle