Blind

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Sing4me88

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« on: April 05, 2013, 08:31:57 PM »
An old one I've re-tweaked recently. Aiming for a dark Pop feel a la Maroon 5 or Script, something with an air of menace and intrigue about it to suit the lyrics.

As always feedback welcome and gratefully received folks :)

Blind  ©Hearty 2013
V1
We must do as we are told,
No asking why, just do and die,
Don’t try to break the mould
Perform their wish and command,
They say jump, we ask high enough,
But miss their sleight of hand

PC
Eyes are open, eyes are open,
But they can’t see
Eyes are open, eyes are open,
 But they don’t believe,
Only seeing what they want us to see

C
The blind are leading the blind,
Oh, oh,
I’m blind, You’re blind,
We’re blind, They’re blind,
Oh, oh
Who will save mankind?

V2
Every word’s pre-ordained,
Believe everything, question nothing,
Let it take over your brain,
We begin to lose our way,
Nowhere to go, just don’t know,
How we’ll survive another day

PC
Eyes are open, eyes are open,
Still they can’t see
Eyes are open, eyes are open,
 Still they don’t believe,
Still seeing what they want us to see

C
The blind are leading the blind,
Oh, oh,
I’m blind, You’re blind,
We’re blind, They’re blind,
Oh, oh,
Who will save mankind?

B
Let’s just open our eyes,
Let’s just open them wide,
Then we can see,
That the truth will set us free,
Yeah, yeah
The truth will set us free

C
The blind are leading the blind,
Oh, oh,
I’m blind, You’re blind,
We’re blind, They’re blind,
Oh, oh,
Who will save mankind?
« Last Edit: April 20, 2013, 12:28:58 PM by Sing4me88 »

Chris_lightless

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« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2013, 11:48:35 PM »
first off all i heard a few maroon 5 songs and tried some melodies that i came up with while hearing...
lyric-wise it´s quite good actually really enjoyed reading it i just thought " when will they open their eyes" ...
singing-wise i tried but i changed some things while singing f.e. V1 "don´t try breaking the mould, perform their wish and sell your soul , they say jump we ask how high, already in the sky, but miss the saving hand" and slipped the see in the PC " eyes are open , eyes wide open" and  C " the blind leading the blind"  "Who saves mankind"  ... i guess i just did this because i could sing it better this way ... nevertheless fine piece !!!
pure hearts are meant to bleed

Jess

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« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2013, 09:33:25 PM »
When I was reading it, I think it sounded just like something the Script would do (compliment!) and I like the concept and love the verses and pre-chorus. My only point would be, the pre-chorus is very repetitive, which would be fine if the chorus wasn't then also very repetitive. I get how a lot of your main message is in the verses, but I think you should considor making one (rather your bridge or chorus) have a bit more substance...but, it's totally your song and I do really like it, so don't feel like you have to make loads of edits...Good stuff :)
"When writing a song, if your afraid to suck, you'll never write a note" -Jeff Boyle