[Paul]

No explanations about this song.  Hopefully the lyrics say it all.  Some songs can be quite exhausting and emotionally draining to write.  This I think, is one of them!  It's called 'Until They Die.'  I'd appreciate your thoughts.  Thanks  Paul.

www.myspace.com/thevanityrules

Until They Die

The station clock declared the bus was late.
That's when she almost changed her mind.
That's when she thought about her emptiness.
That's when she left that life behind.

How many people live in a world that they despise,
living from day to day, until they die.

Until they die.

It's never easy to admit defeat,
much harder still to stick around.
It takes a saint to wear the jaded look,
A look that clearly she had found.

How many people live in a world that they despise,
living from day to day, until they die.

Until they die.

To stay is nothing short of hell,
to dance on embers through the flames.
A zillion days of mediocrity had raised the stakes.

Mistakes, mistakes.

The station clock declared the bus was late!

[hofnerite]

A difficult subject to write a good song about but I think you have done it pretty well.
I like the simplicity of the verses in terms of instruments and the change into the chorus is great, I love the sudden change in apparant tempo that comes from the quicker chord changes and percussion.
My only slight gripe is the "until they die" part at the end of the chorus, personally I think the end of the chorus needs to hit a big high rather than that gentle part but I like the way it leads into the last verses and guitar solos.
All in all, a good song and lyrics. Well done. 

[Schavuitje]

I rate something on how much I enjoy it. That can be anything in a song from a bassline to a great chorus. The vocals on this are brilliant! The chorus is very, very strong... very catchy.
The production is great! And I dissagree about the end of the chorus. I understand what hofnerite is saying but rules are there to be broken and if done right it works and it does work

[Paul]

Thanks Schavuitje and hofnerite,  'Until They Die' is such an emotionally intense song.  It was quite difficult to present it for review.  It's one of my favourite vocal melodies and lyrics!

Paul

[Smoke Free]

Phew! I love the personal closeness of this and agree the change into the chorus is reassuringly harsh and startling. I enjoy the softening down to the repeated 'until they die' but maybe the accompaniment is a bit too 'nice' in that bar. Isn't it hard reviewing other peoples creations! I'll get used to it though. I enjoyed this track for sure.

[Paul]

Thanks Smoke Free and welcome to the forum!

[Dutchbeat]

Pablo

wow!

that is one perfect recording and song
must have taken so much work to record it, it is so crispy clear, all the levels are just right

lyrics are great

wow

I know, the forum rules say that one also needs to give some constructive criticism, some comments

but is hard to improve this anywhere

just wow!

Dutchbeat

[Paul]

Thanks Dutchbeat,


It took a great deal of work to arrive at this finished version.  I produced an elaborate Logic production of this song, which I then sent to my good friend in Berlin for further detailed work. It was returned in the sparkling format that I have included on my site.  I really feel lucky to have a  skilled producer on my side, who believes 100% in my writing ability.   The guys in The Vanity
Rules love this song.  It was however emotionally draining to write, though I am delighted with the finished product!

Thanks again,

Paul

[tone]

Pablo,

The production is flawless! Very nice sounds and rhythms. I love the change from the verse to the chorus, it's very powerful and moving.

I don't know if this is what you were going for, but it really reminds me of the manic street preachers at their best.

Dynamic, interesting songwriting, with a top quality arrangement.  If I had to offer a note of criticism it would be that the lyrics don't feel the right 'shape' at times, if you know what I mean. I mean, they make sense, and tell a fitting story, but sound ever so slightly forced into the melody at times.

Still, very beautiful, one of the best the forum's seen, easily.

[Paul]

Thanks tone,

I agree, it's very much like the Manics.  I didn't set out to write a Manics style song.  It started it's life as an acoustic song then was handed over to Peter who sings with The Vanity Rules. He doesn't try to sound like James Dean Bradfield, but clearly does. He's singing at the top of his range.  He sometimes moves my melodies up an octave which adds dynamics but also makes my lyrics sound a little forced at times. He'd be the first to agree on this. I'd love to match his voice with my diction and timing. Peter would also love to mix the two and we talk about this often.  Still,  I'm delighted with the positive response that 'until They Die has received.  Thanks! Paul