[SOS]

What do you guys think of my lyrics? Any improvements and suggestions would be appreciated.

Title: Electric smile
Key: C

Verse 1) Hey!
You don’t know who I am
But why would you give a damn
About me

Verse 2) Hey!
You don’t know my name
I just watch play your games
Again, again

Chorus) You make me fly away
And burst my ribcage
My heart is blowing, heart is blowing
Heart is blowing up

Every single day
You’re always on my brain
My heart is blowing
Heart is blowing up

Verse 3) I
I see your electric smile
And can’t help but stare for a while
In awe

Verse 4) Your
Your heart’s made out of gold
But it’s always undersold
To me, to me

Chorus) You make me fly away
And burst my ribcage
My heart is blowing, heart is bowling
Heart is blowing up

Every single day
You’re always on my brain
My heart is blowing
Heart is blowing up

Solo

Chorus) You make me fly away
And burst my ribcage
My heart is blowing, heart is blowing
Heart is blowing up

Every single day
You’re always on my brain
My heart is blowing
Heart is blowing up

Chorus) You make me fly away
And burst my ribcage
My heart is blowing, heart is blowing
Heart is blowing up

Every single day
You’re always on my brain
My heart is blowing
Heart is blowing up

[BooBoo]

It's good. Feels like it could be a fun upbeat pop song. Not sure if that was the sound you were going for but it is good!

[The Corsair]

OK you're posting too many of these. The rules here (and just general etiquette really) require that you review other people's stuff regularly and only post one of your own songs per week (at most).

Please review some other people's work and slow down your posting rate before the mods have to get involved.