Hi Craig,
Putting all the nonsense aside...
I thought that was a good start. The intro had a bit of Maiden going on, then went a bit more aggressive, not quite thrash, but somewhere in between. I'd love to hear a more developed version. Get some drums in there, etc. They will certainly help you take things forward. Vocals would be great, but i know from experience it isn't easy to sing metal style. I don't like the scream vocal style at all. Good luck.
Digger
