[Kafla]

http://soundcloud.com/andrewcruse/balloon-head

Hey everyone , I am working intensely on a few songs just now, some for other forum members and  I wanted a little distraction for a while

So I wrote and recorded this pretty quickly - I didn't want to get into a big elaborate production so this is quite rough and the ending is very abrupt

But I thought I would get your feedback - good, bad or indifferent  

Balloon head

It's late , but still not late enough
This weight will crush the both of us
Feel it floating  gently in the air
Pins me to the ground when your are not there

We're tied inside a cardboard cell
The cuffs are opened up but the locks they still work
I can feel them gently resting on my soul
If they press any harder  I'll loose control

I know if you were here you'd say 'it's all cool in the hood'
But everything is not good
Because I can't face the mornings anymore
starring in this daily horror show

I can't chase these nightmares from my door
I can't go back to the way it's was before
Everything has changed now from the life I know
A life I had forgotten but its there I'm sure
And if we burn in hell then that's the way it goes
And where this thing will lead us I bet no one knows

And so will keep it underground
We'll dig deep in the earth until not a trace is found
Feel it floating gently in the air
I can hear our silence everywhere

http://soundcloud.com/andrewcruse/balloon-head

[flossie]

I like this a lot Kaf.  I think you need a chorus though which could be one line of lyric you know like a catchline, or use the changy bit (which is very hooky by the way) at the end of the song in which case you need a middle eight I think.

The song has a lovely feel,and I just felt that I wanted the lyrics to be happy for some reason that was just my immediate reaction, it made me feel happy the music that is but the lyrics don't!!!

I'm not keen on the drums do you need them, I am very keen on the guitar and I really like the understated piano and the cello is right too.

Looking forward to hearing the next version.

Nice singing by the way!

Love

F
xxx

[Michael]

I like it, especially the higher vocals towards the end are cool !
Guitars sound good, but I wasn't too keen on the piano part that only plays the single notes over and over (I guess the same notes played by the bass?) Mix it up a little !
But I think the rough version is just supposed to convey the overall feel of the song, and that it did, think this has potential
The ending really was quite abrupt  Calling for a big instrumental part to set in there...

[S.T.C]

yeah i liked it..the lyrics are what they are,,,need another couple of listens too really say anything more.

[Kafla]

Hey Guys - thanks for the feedback

Yip you are all correct - I think the next skill I am going to try and devlop is deconstruction - being able to rip parts of the song out and replacing them - rearranging the order

I find it so hard when a song is in my head to un-learn it

I would call this a doodle more than a song and sometimes its good to put something on and not fret about it too much

You have a good ear Michael 

Thanks for the ideas

[digger72]

Hi Kafla,

Guitars sound great. I can hear Ronan Keating singing this. I like the piano - it's nice punctuation. Drums, as others have mentioned - not sure. Like the picture on soundcloud.

Good song.

Digger

[nooms]

excellent marketing thinking there kaf, a link on the top and the bottom, its wee strides like that that make scotland a great nation.

i love the simplicity of the first half of the song.
i agree with floss about the drums.
yes they work well but soon as they come in you get a sense of where its going..which turns up its 'radio ness' but loses a certain uniqueness ?  am i making sense ?

whatever the arrangmnt your singing terrific and i like the lyric, especially the opening verse..

[RichyRowlatt]

I like it Kaf. Hiya, by the way.

Structure-wise you know it needs work but I love the lyrics and the general feel is very good.

Love your voice, unique.

Rich.

[tina m]

i liked this a lot ...it was a lot more immediate than your last few songs maybe bcos you havent spent time being clever with it & trying to outdo yourself?
i thought the end part that starts i cant chase these nightmares came apart.... the strummed guitar didnt sound right with evrything else
some great rhyming lyrics in the first verse

[Paul]

Hi Andy,

 I love stripped back songs of this nature. The lyrics are intriguing and the acoustic guitar draws me in instantly.  Your vocal sounds great.  I'd change or EQ the latter string sound differently but that's just a small production detail.  It's a shame that this ends so quickly. I was really enjoying listening!

Excellent!

Well done

[MinuteSekunde]

Great piece Kafla! I really enjoyed it so much! (the great vocals comment is me - just so you know  )

I really enjoyed the song from word go! I heard the intro and I just thought "wow this is so nice!" - kudos to you for it!

[seriousfun]

What ever you do, dont put this song away and forgetab out it cause its going to be a real good song when its finished. Its good now but boy does it have some potential. Love the vocal performance, very polished especially the ending vocals. You do have a great range in your voice.

I can here some orchestral strings building up at the end to take it home that would be real sweet. The piano needs a little more complexity to it and the drum sounds need to be changed. The actual patterns used are fine but I would deffinately give em a bit more guts.  But in all, a very good song, wish I had written it

Kudos to you.

[habiTat]

Kaf you are fast becoming one of my favourites on here. I think this is great. Your voice seems to get better with each song.

The production is really good although I do agree with the comments about the drums. They just seem to punch a little hard in the earlier parts and seem to be out of context, for me they fit well as the song reaches it's climax but they do seem to kick a little hard in the gentler parts of the song. Obviously you're still working on this one but I wouldn't change too much. This will be great once you figure out how to properly end it. It may work well to bring everything back down for a final verse, nice and gentle once more. I think your vocal just soars towards the end. You've got so much scope in your voice and it's so nice to hear it build through the song.

Excellent stuff mate, please carry on and finish it, I know it's tempting to get to the upload stage, get a few nice reviews and stick it on the back burner but this one needs finishing.

P.S. great cartoon

hab..

[misswhiterabbit]

I really like the simplicity of the first half of this song, your vocals are so strong on this I prefer it without the strings and such at the end. The lift in your vocals is enough for me. The lyrics are unusual, I like the first verse especially, you've got such a good voice. Loved this a lot 

[montydog]

Well the first thing to say is that this a beautifully recorded piece of music and the arrangement, use of instruments and playing is also from the top drawer. The only thing that didn't sound quite as good as the rest was the drums which I thought were a bit leaden and loud but coming from someone who never puts drums on his tracks, feel free to ignore that :-)

The quality of your voice and your skill at singing carries this song along very effectively. It's not a comfortable song to listen to as you're singing about some pretty heavy stuff here but it's pretty compelling. I didn't like the ending - I thought something was wrong with sound cloud 

High quality songwriting once again. That's a problem with having a great track record (excuse the pun) of producing good songs, people have high expectations.