[olafgoesraawr]

Hello people of the world, my name is Olaf and I'm a young singer-songwriter.
I have only started last month and I don't have much time for it, but if you guys could check out my YouTube channel and give me some feedback on this song and some others, that'd be smashing
I'm happy to review your work as well (Y)

Peace out, thanks!

[RichyRowlatt]

Hi Olaf. First the positives. You've definitely got an ear for a melody and lyrically it's interesting. That's the positives, but don't feel disheartened as thats fundamentally what you need to write a great song. I'd lose the capo and the picking as it's a distraction for the listener and you. You need to spend some time working on structure - it meanders along nicely but there's really no definitive parts, though you probably hear them, that jump out. And finally, it's way too long. You need to lose at least 25% of it in my opinion.
BUT, great to see and hear a young lad like yourself putting the time and effort into this craft we love so much. Stick with it fella, if you've only been going a month it's a really good attempt,

Richy.

[olafgoesraawr]

Thanks a lot dude, it's great to hear constructive criticism from fellow songwriters - I'm on this forum so I can learn how to improve.

It really isn't great at all, and maybe it'd have been better if I spent more time on it. Unfortunately I'm still at school and all these essays are taking over my life at the moment ^_^

[tone]

Hey Olaf

Welcome to the forum, and well done for taking the brave step of asking for feedback on your song.

As Richy says, you have a good ear for melody, and very natural vocal phrasing, which are two very important aspects of songwriting.

I think the two main areas that need work on this song are structure and dynamics. Although your song has some dynamics, where the strumming changes to picking etc, there's not been enough consideration about how it's used. The song feels a little undirected and lacking a definitive moment.

Which leads to structure. Generally, a song is easier to listen to if it has quite clearly defined sections: verse, bridge, chorus etc. My advice to new songwriters is usually to listen to and learn lots and lots of great songs. And when I say great songs, I don't mean just what's popular now. Do some research, find out who the great songwriters are, and make it your business to learn their work.

Here's a head start: Paul McCartney & John Lennon, Elton John, Paul Simon, Joni Mitchell, Carole King, Neil Finn.

But there are loads. You could spend the next 5 years just ploughing through those artists' work alone.

An excellent start Olaf; keep it up, and stick around

[olafgoesraawr]

Thanks for your comment, I'm on this forum so tha ai can learn from experienced songwriters like you guys, it's great

Yeah, I agree, I have to work on the structure. This song has only taken me 20 minutes to write and compose, so I should probably spend more time on it if I want to take it seriously.

I'm a huge fan of Paul McCartney and John Lennon, and yeah, having thought about it, their songs are really well structured - that's probably partly why they're so catchy.

I'll check out some of your stuff, and drop you some reviews.

Thanks again man! :3

[montydog]

Hi and welcome. Others far more experienced and talented than me have already given you some really good advice.

Some really great songs were written in 20 minutes but generally, to write quality songs takes time. Sometimes it takes months for something to finally click into place, to find the right turn of phrase etc. If you're serious, you need to invest time and craft and be prepared to re-write and re-write repeatedly until you're happy it's as good as you can make it.

[olafgoesraawr]

Absolutely!

I have actually written another song today, and I'll try to give it more structure and dedicate some more time to it.

I really appreciate your comment.