[WhOoSh]

You are the keeper
Keeper of the light
Great responsibility to hold

(chorus)
Don't take his dreams and
Break them
Let them see the light

Holding him up be gentle
Let him feel the light
Let him feel the light

 Holding his heart 
Holding his hand
You are his mistress in
This great haloed land

(chorus)
Don't take his dreams and
Break them
Let them see the light

You hold his heart be gentle

Let him see you care

Let him know
Let him know
Let him know you care

Hold him and let him feel your love
Hold him close and let him know
You really really care

You hold his heart be gentle

Let him see you care

(chorus)
Don't take his dreams and
Break them
Let them see the light

Let them see
Let them see
Let them see the light

[titiami]

i don't feel these lyrics,its like in your other lyrics, you're using ,"let him, let them", to rush a finish, this makes the lyrics lose its taste. That's just the way i see it.

[Sing4me88]

Hi. I think there is definitely a good solid basis for a good song somewhere in these lyrics. I'm divided in 2 on the use of 'let him' and 'let them'; on one hand I think it could be clever use of simple repetition yet on the other I kinda agree with the last poster about a rushing to the finish line feeling. Maybe if you tried something like 'Release them to the light' or 'Bask them in the light' it might work better. I don't honestly know but they are YOUR lyrics so you'll know better than me!

I'm also a little confused about the title; don't get me wrong I think it's a good title and has originality but the lines are only a very minor part of the song. I imagined they would have been an integral part of the chorus. Ever think of changing the title to something to do with 'The light'?
Again just my ill-informed opinion.

Still find it a very good write though and think with a bit of tweaking and polishing you could have a very good song here

[The Corsair]

It feels like you've written a song made of filler, and it leaves me sitting there going 'why did I read that?'

Basically, there's just not enough there to keep a reader/listener entertained, which is really the main aim of a songwriter (to entertain).

There's some good bits in there, but it's really just a few lines of interesting things and ideas, then filler again.