[jim morrison]

Welcome mate, a very well structured song.Well impressed with the singing and lyrics. Could be the next Kafla! 

[flossie]

Hi and welcome!

This is a really well crafted song with a very strong melody.  There are obvious limitations because of your recording set up so there's no point in commenting on production.  If the songs sounds good as bare as this you're nearly there aren't you?

One thing though. I'd have liked the chorus to come in sooner after the first bridge, is there a reason why you didn't do this?

Apart from that it's great, and absolutely nothing wrong with your piano skills at all 

x

[RichyRowlatt]

Thanks again everyone. Jim, I'm really loving your stuff, right up my alley. What set up have you got?
Flossie, glad you worked out I'm just not set up for recording. 'Dont bore us, get to the chorus!' I know, the thing was that the chorus was so anthemic I didn't feel I could get a middle together that could live up to the rest of the song. A bit of a cop out but I've got so much falling out of me at the minute if I can get something finished quickly I will! SO, I went for a double verse, with the intention when recording it of building it up massively towards the first chorus.

Hope that makes sense,

Richy

[Dutchbeat]

Hi Rich,

great melody you made!!! And the piano is not as lame as you said in your intro (and btw what about the piano on Imagine from John Lennon  )

super song, i would love to hear that in a better recording, but this is very enjoyable as it is

[tone]

Welcome aboard Richy

I like your song very much - it has a 'classic' feel to it. Its the kind of song you could play in a pub or a stadium, and still hold everyone's attention.

Not much I can say that hasn't already been said. Strong flavours of Bowie and Oasis in here, could do with a little more vox, enjoyed the live version immensely.

Very nice work mate

[montydog]

Nothing wrong with your piano playing - it's fine at accompanying your song. The vocals aren't very well recorded but that doesn't really matter because this is a rather lovely song sung with real passion. Nicely judged lyrics free from cliche. Great voice you have as well - sort of like a polished version of Randy Newman.

This needs a better quality recording and then it would really shine.

Kudos to you and welcome.

[digger72]

Hi Richy.

Bowie does Lennon. Love it. My kind of thing totally. If your piano is lame mine is positively garbage. Sad songs are my thing so keep doing them.

Production - I like that it's not overly polished. Sometimes a few rough edges give character.

Good stuff.

Digger

[man of simple pleasures]

yeah canny little tune this. yeah very lennon piano beatlesy tune! diggin this! walk on very scouse haha, sounds like it could be a stadium anthem when that bit kicks in!

[James Nighthawk]

Charming classic writing.

Loving the 7ths. As a pattern the "let it be" ba dum da dum isn't enough to carry the song by itself, but, as a demo it fully shows the song. Open to more layers as I am sure you'll agree.

I like the vocal, if a little pitchy on occasion. Very human and accessible.

Nice first post and one with potential for sure

[RichyRowlatt]

Only just clocked your reply Binladeda. Trust me mine was also full of four letter words, anger and with a bit of proper shameless style pub riots thrown in for good measure!!!

I can't thank everyone enough for the time you've spent listening to my little offering and giving me your thoughts. I just want to make very clear before I post any more that I am categorically NOT a musician. I was an accomplished violinist when I was a kid but I absolutely hated it. I was in bands in the late 80's and most of the 90's with some success, but I am fundamentally a songwriter. I have a good ear for a melody and am pretty confident when it comes to lyrics and structure but I defer in terms of musicality to my eclectic bunch of close friends.

In the past I've thrown tens of thousands of pounds at various studios only to get back recordings that in my opinion do no more justice to the song than just me and the piano. I've found that pretty much any engineer I've worked with has had an impossible ego (one of my pet hates) and thinks they are much better than they actually are. I've always known my strengths and my weaknesses in equal measures

I've been dead impressed with the quality of recordings from all of you on here and the more stuff I'm listening to the more I'm thinking that I need to get off my lazy arse and learn how to record myself properly. I feel it's a bit unfair to name names, but James, Monty Jim, Tone, Michael, the sound quality of your stuff is incredible. That's not to take anything away from anyone else of course, what a talented bunch you all are.

So, to sum up, when I play the piano, I use my right hand only and the left just plods out the bass notes. The melody should offer up some of the rhythm, and I'm really interested to hear any direction you all think you would take this. If it's ok with all of you I will also try and include a link to the live recording so you can see where we've taken stuf. As an example, what I think I've decided to be my next post, when I wrote it I heard the Beegees, or even some boyband or other. I take it to the band and becomes a kind of White Stripes punk thing. I love it.

Back on my current post, the live version was only the second run through, so I may well post as we polish it up.

Tghanks for listening, sorry if I'm going on but Monday morning at work is the best place needs filling with something!!

[tina m]

yes i enjoyed this it is very basic but undeniabley a good song
 & all these comparisons people are making to to great artists like bowie oasis lennon!
well  i heard chas & dave
no ....its a  rough diamond...
you need lots of sequins & big specs.... get a bit of liberace /elton in there & you will be there!

[RichyRowlatt]

Love it Tina! I'm disappointed you didn't spot the Wurzel influence in there though! I'm bowled over, I really am.

[misswhiterabbit]

So full of emotion, I really like the simplicity of the recording, hearing it at this point before all the bells and whistles are added. It fits the theme and feeling of the song. Don't get me wrong though it would sound amazing with a full band and some strings! I'm impressed by the vocal melody, it never becomes stagnant, lots of variation. Thanks for sharing!

[seriousfun]

Someone said great first post, hell great for any post I say.  The lyrics in this song are superb, they really steal the show along with the slow and stead anthemic build up.

Like everyone, I can see way past the limiting production on this song, it would polish up real well.

Kudos to you.

[RichyRowlatt]

Thanks both, it's funny isn't it, I guess maybe because the subject matter was so raw, verging on painful, I almost binned this without a thought. To get such a positive reaction has been phenomenal.

Love the idea of some strings and I'm definitely going to book some studio time to get it laid down proper,

Richy