[habiTat]

Hi guys, I've been trying to decide whether to share this early or not, I want to insert a bridge at around the 2:24 mark I think. I started a thread on that and may have one worked out. I've got some stuff going on at home which may well develop into a bit of a nightmare so this may end up being 'it'. That said, I would like to tidy it up more and add that bridge if I get the chance. I'm breaching the 'one a week' rule slightly but this might be my last song post for a little while. I'll still do some reviewing Saturday if I can and I'll still be on here for other stuff like always

I've stuck it in the comps board as a demo cos I don't really consider it finished yet. Any ideas to improve it would be very welcome. If I do get time to re-visit it I can knuckle down and get it done quite quickly working with your suggestions

These chains  http://soundcloud.com/habitatsongs/these-chains-acoustic-1

Left in the corner of nowhere
The rain beating down on my face
These chains that once
Completed me
That gave me such pride and such grace

Holding me coldly and lonesome now
My friend you'll surely turn round
These chains that once
Completed me
Now hold me firm
To the ground

Will it ever
Be the same
Will I ever
Hear you say my name
Again

Nothing could ever prepare me
This loneliness hurting so bad
These chains that once
Completed me
So cold, so painful, so sad


I thought what we had was so special
A bond like nothing I've known
But these chains that
Once completed me
Now keep me here so alone

You were the one I respected
The love that I had in my heart
These chains that
Once completed me
Are now pulling all that apart

My friend you'll surely return though
And I will jump into your arms
These chains that
Once completed me
Will once again do me no harm

[Michael]

Wow, you've been busy

How many sets of lyrics can you write on one topic?  They are pretty damn good though.
I like how you've kind of "hidden away" the title in the recurring part of the verses instead of, as is the usual approach I guess, in the chorus. Very catchy ! If I may suggest, I'd add some harmonies in the verse, just for the "these chains that once completed me" part to make it stand out even more.
(Btw thanks again for the other lyrics, they're coming together in my effort quite well now)

Guitars sound great, and the finger-picked low notes give a nice rhythm.
Your vocal performance is - as usual - brilliant (loving the chorus in the higher register).

I was going to ask why it says "acoustic + percussion" on Soundcloud, then I noticed them at the end of the song... I think you should add more of that thumping already earlier in the song - and maybe a tambourine or something similar ?

A bridge would indeed be good somewhere at 2:24, hope you find the time to work that in.

Something sounds weird at 2:59, like a short drop in volume. (Is that where you tried to edit out these pop noises?) Right now I can only listen to the song on headphones, but tomorrow I'll give it another listen on my monitors...

Generally I'd say that there's quite a lot of noise in the mix, probably because of a lot of different tracks all recorded with the same mic. It's not at a point where it would start to annoy me, but it is quite noticable during the quieter parts at the beginning and the end.

Which of course does not in any way change the fact that this is another really really cool and catchy song made by habitat

[Binladeda]

I love this Hab...it's beautiful ...Really good imagery, loved the lyrics, especially 'will I ever hear you say my name again'...very emotional. Hopefully, the sort of thing that will make people want to donate   The guitar playing and vocals work very well together and create a lovely feel....not much more needed here, that I can see.....hope everything works out ok for you on the home front........

[flossie]

Habitat, You have done a brilliant job on this it is really great, musically and lyrically.  The melody and particularly the chorus is very memorable. Your voice sounds really good too. 

Suggestions

What I would do is maybe add a cello, if you have a sample that is!! I would add it on the second verse.  Maybe some string after that but only if you have a fairly authentic sample otherwise not. I would have the instrumental working a bit harder too - maybe a new melody there as you aren't having a middle eight and I would cut the third verse and go straight to chorus, which would have even more layers I love your idea of the vocals that answer the main vocal, and maybe towards the end more harmonies then I like how it just drifts back into the acoustic guitar again as the outtro. It is a very thoughtful and thought provoking piece.  Hope you don't mind me making suggestions as it is really very good as it is, I just think it would have even more impact, particularly if you shorten it.

Love

Flossie

[tina m]

well i think this is the best thing youve done ...im impressed how youve layered all the guitars & voices  & percussion...& the vocal is very strong & the lyrics are very good & sad
i would agree with flossie & say a cello done on your keyboard would fit in loveley & maybe a little more percussion here & there

[stephaniedema]

Hi Hab

Tina and you have put the bar so high! You're scaring me off! 
Great effort. Love your voice. The more I listen to any song of yours, the more I get that signature-feel. You know, like some of those artists on the radio. When you hear one of their songs you've never heard before, you immediately know it's them. That's something to cherish!

I think the whole chains concept really works. The positive/negative dichotomy.
The sober instrumentation really fits your approach to the subject of the song.
Like Tina said though I would've liked a bit more percussion. And I think the cello is a good idea, you should give it a go!

SD

[Paul]

Hi HabiTat,

You have such a lovely and unique voice.  The guitar intro is excellent.  It gained my attention immediately.  When the backing vocals arrive, they are outstanding, though I wasn't as keen on the later oohs/aahs.  The fingerpicking is excellent throughout and I think that the song builds nicely despite the limited number of tracks involved in this recording.  Your best yet I would say! 

Well done!

[habiTat]

Wow guys thanks! Your comments really do mean a lot. It's reassuring to know it's passable in it's current guise. I've just found out my mum might have cancer so I can't really see there being any further work on it, at least for now. I will still run the comp and sort the website but if anyone wants to deal with the voting side of things, let me know. As it's all gonna be by PM I might struggle to do all of it. I'll still chip in on the forum as usual though, it's helping to occupy my mind..

@Paul.
Thanks for the comment on my voice, I guess you can learn to play instruments but for the most part, you can either sing or you can't. I never score well on singstar so it's reassuring to know it's well received.

@Stephanie
Your comment made me smile, to say I have a distinctive edge is such a compliment, thankyou

@Tina
I know my music isn't your bag so a comment like that means so much more, thanks. p.s. I might not manage the Bond thingy now, I'll try if I can.

@Flossie
Thanks again, another great comment and some great feedback, if I get the chance I'll look at that cello idea.

@Binladeda
After hearing your 'shed rock' song I'm really grateful for the comments. You are very talented so compliments from you mean a lot, cheers

@Michael
Cheers mate, again, such nice comments, my head is getting bigger  , I'm glad you're working well with my lyrics, I hope you win with them like on the Blueprint then I can take some credit without it looking like it's a fix  


hab..

[nooms]

very nice hab lovely song, heartfelt
that guitar rippling riff is perfect

best wishes to your mum

[habiTat]

very nice hab lovely song, heartfelt
that guitar rippling riff is perfect

best wishes to your mum

Cheers nooms

I'll hold off properly submitting it on the reviews board until nearer the deadline in case I have some spare time and want to do some more work on it.

[Dutchbeat]

That is great, Habi

these harmony vocals are super!!!

i can take on the voting part, i will put all the links in one thread after the deadline and people can vote during a two weeks period??


but everyone will be a winner, so it the voting will just be to find out which song will be the 'single' / the first song on the site...imo (?)

good luck to you and best wishes for your mother

[habiTat]

That is great, Habi

these harmony vocals are super!!!

i can take on the voting part, i will put all the links in one thread after the deadline and people can vote during a two weeks period??


but everyone will be a winner, so it the voting will just be to find out which song will be the 'single' / the first song on the site...imo (?)

good luck to you and best wishes for your mother

Thanks Dutch, you're a star

[Kafla]

This is without doubt your best production and written song to date

Your voice is ace - really sits well with the lyrics - tells a story

The harmonies are first rate and you have mixed the vocals really , really well and when you go for those higher notes oh boy you hit them - effortlessly

The other guitars also sit really well mate

Lyrically is fantastic

Seriously habitat you have raised your game and then some here 

[habiTat]

Wow thanks Kaf 

I hope these aren't sympathy compliments   

Things seem a bit more positive at the mo and all these things you're saying about my song are really kind. I feel like my music is improving.

THANKS FORUM 

hab..

[Boydie]

Sounding great!

I would be tempted to shorten the intro a bit - perhaps just once around the riff?

I really like the almost "Medieval Minstrel" vibe to the vocal

Your mixing has gone from strength to strength - the distant backing vocal is superb

I am also hearing some "up and down" with the high guitar line sitting on top of the mix

It would be nice to get some bass guitar (or low piano) to add some bottom to help the contrast

I can also hear the "dips" in volume - but I understand why you didn't want to re-record the vocals, they get better and better as the track goes on - and they started great!

I actually didn't feel the need for a bridge - the arrangement all hangs together nicely for me

All the best to you and your Mum