[melodybeals]

New song that my band wrote. We are looking for critique. This whole entire song from instrumental to vocals was created on the iPad in Garageband so the quality isnt the best but it gets the point across.

http://soundcloud.com/melodybeals/running-shoes

Here are the lyrics. Please critique these as well.

Running Shoes
Written by: Not Supposed To Be Here
 
I'm gonna be leaving soon
And you're my place to go,
I grab my dusty running shoes
And scrape mud off the toes.
I leave my keys and specs and purse
And wallet on the floor.
I won't need them at your door.
 
Running, Running to you
Coming, coming for you
Red lights and stop signs
Won't tear me away
'Cause baby I'm runnin' and
I'm coming your way
 
This little heart of mine has skipped a beat or two
That's only from running baby wait 'til I see you
 
My feet feel like they're falling off,
Got Blisters on my heels,
I've got indentions in my palms
from all my fingernails
The only thing that separates
your lips from joining mine,
Is a doorbell and two barking dogs
and Just a little time
 
Running with this feeling
Running with this feeling
Running with this feeling
Running with this feeling
 
This little heart of mine has skipped a beat or two
That's only from running baby wait 'til I see you
 
Running, Running to you
Coming, coming for you
Red lights and stop signs
wont tear me away
cause baby I'm running and
I'm coming your way

[S.T.C]

Good song ..liked it!

[nooms]

great song
excellent production unusual and traditional rolled into one
nice vocals which i felt got better and better as it went along, like it was a live take..
whatever..really enjoyed it and welcome

i dont know what happened earlier but dont worry about it, think your bigger than that..
get yourselves involved in the forum and im sure you'll get a good reception

[digger72]

Hi,

I liked that. It was like the Corrs meets the Ting Tings. Really nice vocals. Foot tappingly good.

Good stuff.

Digger

[James Nighthawk]

Its amazing the quality of recording possible on an iPad

Sure, I can hear issues with compression and "fake" instruments, but as a demo device, blimey it can, when used well, offer some great crisp demos

And this is one of them!

Great little pop song here. I am always taken by harmonies, especially those which move in counterpoint. It really opens up a song.

I could hear someone like P!nk singing this. But it definitely has the Celtic vibe too.

Lyrically it works a charm. Some clichés but pop songs like this almost need them to work.

Lots of parts feel like a Chorus, so it is sometimes hard to tell whether we are on the Up or down. The dark or the shade. But this is not necessarily a bad thing, it kept me on my toes. Figuratively speaking!

Good tune

[tina m]

hi we are running a write & record a james bond theme compitition here....would you like to enter something?
the start & finish date for entries has to be set yet
its something ive always fantasised about doing ...what about you?... cos heres the chance to do it & with the new bond coming film out its the perfect time!
heres the link
http://bit.ly/TO2SKa

i like your song it has a sort of hoedown beat to it i can imagine cowboys shooting up the town to it  

[montydog]

I loved the harmonies and the whole vibe of the song is great. Put a driving banjo on that chorus and it would really come alive.

Great stuff and amazing to think what you've made it on.

[melodybeals]

I loved the harmonies and the whole vibe of the song is great. Put a driving banjo on that chorus and it would really come alive.

Great stuff and amazing to think what you've made it on.

Thanks Montydog! Maybe hen we actually take this song to the studio we can add banjo. Garageband doesnt have that option....YET

[Kafla]

Absolutely brilliant harmonies and vocals - timing bang on

Thought the verses were bland but provided a great foil for the unbelievable bridge and chorus - such a big , big hook - hit material

Not keen on the lyrics ( what's the message ?, lots of edam ) and thought the instrumentation was weak - sorry

But would buy for the harmonies and chorus - so brilliant !

[melodybeals]

Absolutely brilliant harmonies and vocals - timing bang on

Thought the verses were bland but provided a great foil for the unbelievable bridge and chorus - such a big , big hook - hit material

Not keen on the lyrics ( what's the message ?, lots of edam ) and thought the instrumentation was weak - sorry

But would buy for the harmonies and chorus - so brilliant !

instrumentation was written on the iPad in garageband..so weak is probably right. there is no depth on that thing. The song is literally about running to somebody. There is no metaphore, its just about liking/loving someone so much that nothing is going to get in the way. So I put on my running shoes...and run to this person's house

[Binladeda]

Hi melody...good song. The vocals stole the show for me. You have a good, confident voice, and the harmonies were brilliant. Good chorus and hook....It's all there   Great work...look forward to hearing more....Welcome

[Michael]

Hi and welcome

I must admit this is not really the kind of music I like (but that's just personal taste).
That said, your vocal performance is very good, can't find anything amiss here, especially the harmonies work quite well.

As has already been said, the instrumentation sounds a bit synthetic and lifeless - but seeing that this was done on a tablet one can't expect an orchestral atmosphere. As a demo this works really well. Are you planning to develop this further (i.e. make proper recordings etc.) ?

[WhOoSh]

Lovely song and oh so lovely singing. Superlatives just are not enough as I would run out of space.
I think I like this a lot 

[melodybeals]

Lovely song and oh so lovely singing. Superlatives just are not enough as I would run out of space.
I think I like this a lot 

Thank you Whoosh!

[WhOoSh]

Hope,  Texas ain't to large, Melody. I am running your way but it sure is a hot day and the sun is beating down. I knew listening to verse and taking it literally  was going to cause issues!
Had to take a second bite at that song . Love the purity and passion in your voice