[shanelyons]

VERSE
                                           
A love so strong it would block out the sun
A love for you that will never die
Theres a place in history for you and i
So hope you know that i will never go

CHORUS
See but no one ever told you
I love you more than life as a whole
And people might envy and be jealous
But we have a love story to be told

VERSE
I know things have never been great
But remember kisses and cuddles whilst we lay
I would like to take, this time to thank
For all the hard times that you have stayed

CHORUS
See but no one ever told you
I love you more than life as a whole
And people might envy and be jealous
But we have a life story to be told



VERSE


Ive never found the words to say
Just how beautiful you are to me today
Your cute little nose and star struck eyes
Fills up this world with a moon lit sky
Your frizzy bouncy hair and sweet licked lips
Proves you are the beautifulest angel ever sent

CHORUS
See but no one ever told you
I love you more than life as a whole
And people might envy and be jealous
But we have a love and life story to be told

[Stroller2010]

I do like it, it's sweet and innocent, but I think it's a bit too cliche, I feel like I've read something like it before. The final verse is the highlight for me, that seems quite personal and thought out.

[shanelyons]

thank you very much for your honesty i can see how the lyrics are very cliche and i seem to have a problem with writing songs that seem that way i suppose the only way it doesn't sound cliche is when the lyrics are added to the music it gives i different vibe (in my own opinion)

all the best, shane

[travis]

I like your story.The last verse though has more lines, has this been done on purpose?  It's unusual but with the right melody it will work
Travis

[shanelyons]

hi travis thanks for taking the time to have look, yh it has more lines on purpose well not really on purpose when i was writing the song it just happened so i didn't bother changing it

all the best, shane

[The Corsair]

I agree, in many places it's quite cliched. Worse, though, is that in some it's just a bit bland. 'frizzy bouncy hair' is a surprisingly boring way of describing something, and it's a very unwieldy phrase to have in a song, it's trying to use a book's way of describing something in a song's story and it plain doesn't work. There's a few bits like that in this song but that's the most prominent.

[shanelyons]

I think it is all about experimenting with words there is no set rule on how to write lyrics or even music in that matter,when people continue to write a song to a set way or to everyone's taste that is in my opinion bland and boring. I feel you would understand more if you knew the person it was about the phrase "frizzy boucy hair" (out of a story book) would make sense but it is clearly not to everyone's liking, which is what would give people there own opinion and own likeable styles

Best wishes all, shane

[titiami]

you are right , a writer has their own different taste, but as audiences we won't know the person you are referring to, but none the less its your taste.

i agree with the others though the lyrics are good but they are bit too cliche,