[Apophenia]

Hey everyone!  Been a minute since I've been on here.  Hope everyone's doing well.  Here's a song I'd been working.  It's a rough cut.  Let me know what you think.

cynics grin at bright eyes grow dim
cynics grin at bright eyes grow dim
the dream is over for some
while others watch it dance down into their hands
never questioning if they can

the world is heavy thing to move
the world is a heavy thing to move
only big bangs causing change
then only to scratch our itching face
didn't even see them putting up the gates

please give us someone to lead
please give us someone to lead
give the hungry their marching orders
they're screaming maybe they will save our lives
please save our lives

we need to change the way we think
we need to change the way we think
keep going this way we give up our decisions
they don't  think we can make them anymore
i need more than an old cold floor

lets go a little further down stream
its getting hard out here alone
forget about whats different between
time to get down to the bone

dying daily never get it right
dying daily never get it right
i keep trying everyday
i always get in my way
dying daily never get it right

[Dutchbeat]

there is good pace in those lyrics

sounds good when reading it ou loud, but i don't think there is a link to music?

[Stroller2010]

I like it, some good lines and a good flow. Personally, I think it works better as a poem, but that's just me. Still good though - and love the line "I always get in my way".

[Apophenia]

Oh ha that's why it was moved to lyrics.  I'm going to repost it in the reviews section with a link to the music.

[The Corsair]

I can sort of see how it would work...

In any case, it's pretty well written IMO. It does feel like some wording is forced, though (for the sake of rhyme and meter)