[travis]

 
v
When the wind howls
keeping you awake
When your dog barks
at your creeking gate
You'll cover your head
and try to hide
afraid the boogie men
will try to get inside
v
when your phone rings
it won't be me
When the bills fall due
they'll be no we
Building a funeral pyre
of sad memories
Turning them into ASHES
then be finally free
c
The ashes might even blow your way
from all the bridges I've burned today
They'll be no rising like the phoenix
the water's too high, there's oceans between us
v
I won't be there
keeping you from harm
saying it's alright
cuddlling up warm
I'll be on the interstate
as the engine screams
You're the woman
who wrecked my dreams
b
Don't worry your bed will soon be warm again
with some fool you'll call my best friend
c
The ashes might even blow your way
from all the bridges I've burned today
They'll be no rising like the phoenix
the water's too high, there's oceans between us
Outro
Now there's only ashes where the fire used to burn

[S.T.C]

Hi TRAVIS....first impression is that they work.....some do post stuff that clearly could n`t be put to music and sang...but! it is a bit clichéd .....i know it`s  hard to steer away from the usual suspects..like clouds,sun.blue sky, burning bridges etc...i will look at your next work though.

STC.

[travis]

Thanks for your thumbs up to Ashes, I usually write country but this  could  work  in other genre's hopefully  lol
Travis

[The Corsair]

I agree with STC here, you fall into cliche valley a whole lot and it makes for a fairly bland finished product.
You have some geed sections, like:
when your phone rings
it won't be me
When the bills fall due
they'll be no we

Try avoiding cliches more, that's really the best advice we can give you at this point IMO.

[travis]

Thanks for your comments, I'll take a further look at your suggestion when i do a rewrite .
TD

[Dutchbeat]

I think it is great

the "i won't be there" idea makes it different, it just is NOT going to be allright in these lyrics, and that seems to be ok too

i know that probably doesn't make much sense, but i like these lyrics as the are not saying: i will be there for you, everything is going to be ok etc., but simply the opposite without that sounding extremely problematic


well, that is the feeling i get from these lyrics
 

[travis]

Hi Dutchbeat
Thanks for your comments.Pleased you liked this one,
Travis