[Stroller2010]

This probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but still, thought I might as well post it.


Tied up to a metal fence
Forced to believe all of their pretense
Everything is electrical
Even the gods are artificial
Held up in front of the Sultan
I'm told he's a fine figure of a man
The desert winds can be so cruel
I was treated like a fool
I'm not cool
I became his mule

My feet can never touch the floor
Has this ever happened before?
The emperor, the god, he said to me
Tell me how it feels to be killed by your peers
His rescuers, they're about to come
A sinner's work is never done
I wish I couldn't see his face
Sorry for being a disgrace
Who will take my place?
I've made no mistakes

Over the hot and steaming lagoon
I know my death is coming soon
At least I know I tried my best
No one will ever steal my crest
The electrical pulse, it's no surprise
I'm now leaving the toxic rise
I have let go of all my sense
I can now be cleansed
I'll get my revenge
Goodbye to innocence

[titiami]

i think if you explain what this song is about, will get the full picture.

[Stroller2010]

It's basically about someone who has commited an unforgivable crime in the eyes of the Sultan, but to them, from the western world, is completely normal. And about how I haven't had the greatest amount of luck with trustworthy adults. Hope this helps.

[The Corsair]

I think it's a cool metaphor and it's written in such a way that one could uncover the deeper meaning behind the surface story (your troubles with untrustworthy people) on their own after a time.

Perhaps lacking on terms of a conventional chorus, but then again not all songs have choruses with words (or choruses at all). Did you write this with a melody in mind or is this just words?

[travis]

A little deep imagery and a little unconventional structure wise but having said that , if you have a melody to go with it, it wont matter at all.
Good to see something off the wall
Travis

[Stroller2010]

I do have a melody in mind actually, inspired a bit by some Arabian book I was reading. Thanks for the comments, especially considering this isn't my best work in my opinion.