[Schedule9]

I'm feeling kind of empty, just another human sign
I'm waiting for my one chance to come around
If the horse I ride is freedom, I'm charging through the countryside
but I know sometime, I must return

The sudden loss leaves me cold
so hold me, hold me
If offered now I'd take your love over the gold

It can be so beautiful a flower, morning after summer rain
and you watch with such intensity to see each last detail
I like light winds on my face, a little chill to calm me down
as I dance beneath the shadows, like a clown

The sudden loss leaves me cold
so hold me, hold me
If offered now I'd take your love over the gold

If the horse I ride is freedom

[S.T.C]

It`s poetic...but is it song like?

Plus needs to be a bit longer..probably.

[titiami]

its short, simple and poetic but interesting.wish you could make it long.

[Stroller2010]

Like this, I think it has a bold statement and seems quite heartfelt. You could make it longer, but I like it as it is - making it longer could make it lose its meaning a bit, if you know what I mean.

[travis]

Size isn't important! The content more so, and it works for me.Well written.
Travis

[The Corsair]

Size is important. A song doesn't have to be the standard 3 1/2 minutes but a whole album of 1-2 minute songs probably won't do much for people. Entertainment needs to last.

That aside, decent poetic lyrics, so good job there