(Everybody wants to be) Tom Perry

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Dead Weight

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« on: August 15, 2012, 11:48:03 PM »
Hello all,

I've been holding onto this song for years, so long that I don't know if it's quite right anymore. 
Any constructive feedback is always valued.

(Everybody Wants To Be) Tom Perry

1.
There’s a cold, cold morning, dawning over me
These are strange times, in the Summertime, when the rays rise
And people out of their minds
And you say ‘go out and get her’, but you should know better
When the strange looks, she’s giving me, seems to tell me
Like I’ll be wasting my time
But I need love...

2.
He was a brown-tanned surfer, a true ladies’ lover
Lived for tide times, with the waves high. I could tell I
Could never be number one
To this sweet gold cutie, who’s doing things to me
She made my eyes glow, and my mind go, but I don’t know
If I could get her to come

pre-chorus
‘So let her know you ache for
You gotta take control and make her
Your one-and-only goal’
Said Tommy, by way of charity

Chorus
Why can’t somebody help me now, I got this
Brand new feeling coming down, And I just
Need somebody to show me how, but I just
Can’t seem to get her to come around
But oh no,
Love’s a dangerous feeling to show
When you ain’t in control
And everybody wants to be Tom Perry

3.
Well I’m no smooth-talker, or pure prima donna
But I made time, to be the kind, of man she finds
That she said she’s looking for
But Tommy taught me something, it all counts for nothing
He’d be so bold, and then so cold, and they all would
Be coming back for some more
And some more...

4.
It was some time later when I learned to hate her
What did I find, love ain’t so kind, and never blind
As she made Tommy her man
But I just knew he’d use her, just ‘cos he could screw her
When he got all, that her came for, wanted no more
Because he knows that he can

pre-chorus
And now she blames all men
But you know it’ll never change
And she’ll only do it again
Oh, she got a lot to learn

chorus
Why doesn’t somebody help me now, when my
Whole world’s coming crashing down, and I
Thought I could get you to come around, but then you
Go ahead and you let me down
But oh no
I heard your words a hundred times before
What am I trying for
When everybody wants to be Tom Perry

Chord structure for the verse as I can best be describe it:
AA-A/EE-E/F#mF#m-F#m/EE-E/DD-D/AA-A/BmBm-Bm/F#mF#mF#m(3)EE/

titiami

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« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2012, 11:17:10 AM »
its pretty impressive, i can find great meaning in the song.

Stroller2010

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« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2012, 03:05:39 PM »
There was no need to worry about it not being right - its very good. Flows nicely and I really like the rhymes. I also like how it doesn't repeat itself too much.

S.T.C

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« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2012, 10:38:07 AM »
Good lyrics..competently written..its always clear from someones lyrics ,if they understand how a song works...i put a robin gibb interview in the writing section...interesting what he as to say on the BEEGEES approach to it.

Schedule9

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« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2012, 05:20:30 PM »
ummmmm
I'm no smooth talker
but it sounds like you're a stalker
like an old lady pushing a walker
or the poor swine that got labelled a porker