You read it right. I was drunk writing after getting very bogged down with all life's junk (hoorah) and was texting a friend, but they'd challenged me to write everything in rhyme or riddle, so I did that whilst pouring my non-sense heart out about all the self pity going on.
It's in no way a song, but I feel it could be worked out to be an interesting "Back to Black" style song or something of that not-much-melody genre. I was pretty far through a bottle of Jameson, so excuse the awful rhyming I spewed out, but I was on the spot, so I did quite well. I like the "Devil in my soul" part, so don't rip it too much haha. Basically, if you can re-arrange it or think you have an instrumental or melody that could work with it, please help me out
It's not the norm for where I'm from
Stargazing ambition is seen as wrong
It's been so long since my first song
It's harder to reveal as time goes on
This town is uninspiring
I've left so many times
But family drags me back again
It feels like I'm waiting to die
Can't even get drunk
I don't have the money
I'm so damn poor
It's not even funny
Employment is slim
But cheap food makes you fat
I often look around and think I'm better than that
Not without trying
And I don't feel the pride
to be honest I think that I'd much rather hide
I take up my time like a broke prostitute
Subjecting my body for others sick use
It makes me feel wanted
Like I serve a purpose
Being fucked by a stranger
makes me mildly less worthless
It doesn't help that these drugs make me better
But the side effects put me under the weather
I feel like the devil has carved out my soul
And say in my heart stabbing thousands of holes
I probably have it much better than most
But outside my window there is a lamp post
it flickers at night and stops me from sleeping
every moment I wake I'm letting the bleak in
I wish I could do something that's just worth doing
without all the outsiders coming in screwing
But wishing is false and fabled and lazy
I may be unhinged but I know I'm not crazy
The way that I write is the way that I feel
It probably wouldn't have much wide appeal
Imagine if Morrisey wrote suicide notes
For Billie Holiday more full of woe
Or if he were even more depressed
And wrote for the pair of them on their death beds
I have my demons and they have their own
but even at home I don't feel at home
I'm right on the edge looking out at the greatness
of everyone else but I'm seemingly faceless
I'm not alone but I've just got nobody
I once had it all but I lost it so quickly
The ones that should love me almost always break me
but it's not their fault for fearing my safety
If I want to do something I should be accepted
But anything not the norm gets completely rejected
I had the chance of alifetime but they made me come home
Now I'm in purgatory all stuck on my own
It's a sad story for anyone to see
All that I'm wishing is I could be free
It's not my best work, but it's quite full of feeling. I was responding to questions, which is why it doesn't make sense. It's all true to me, yes there's an annoying lamp post outside my window and yes I'm on medication that has awful side effects.
I'm too involved to make it music, but I feel that it could be. Feel free to edit the hell out of it.
Ready? Go.
