[lovesicklee]

Mrs Perfect

Another day goes by,
I feel I could die,
This pains not going away,
I just want you everyday,

I can't bare the thought of not being with you,
For our love is endless, there's nothing we can't do,

Chorus
Your Mrs perfect, Mrs perfect,
Stay by my side forever,
Our loves not going to change ever,
Together we can do anything,
Conquer the world, everything,
Your Mrs perfect, that's you,

I miss your smile, I miss your face,
Women like you their a saving grace,
I miss your laugh, I miss your eyes,
Falling for you was no surprise,

I cant imagine my life without you in,
This one thing I cant take on the chin,
My heads a mess, my hearts even worse,
I'm in so much pain I need a nurse,

Chorus
Your Mrs perfect, Mrs Perfect,
Stay by my side forever,
Our loves not gonna change ever,
Together we can do anything,
Conquer the world, everything,

'Rap'
Your Mrs perfect and that's no lie,
Your Mrs perfect and you don't even try,
I just wanna hold you close in my arms,
I'll give you everything, all my charms,
With you around I know i'm a better man,
With you in my arms, I just know I can,
Fulfil our dreams, make our life,
End the heartbreak, the trouble and strife,
I want you in my life, I want you around,
With you in my heart I lift off the ground,
You know I love you, I know you do too,
Our love is endless there's nothing we can't do,

I wanna spend the rest of my life with you,
And when I look into your eyes, I know you do too,
I'm the luckiest man, across every nation,
You make me happy beyond imagination,

When I think of you there's a smile on my face,
To stay with you, I'd even move to space,
Just look deep down into that loving heart,
And realise that our love should never part,

Chorus
Your Mrs perfect, Mrs perfect,
Stay by my side forever,
Our loves not gonna change ever,
Together we can do anything,
Conquer the world everything,
Your Mrs perfect, that's you,

There's a future for us and I know it's bright,
I just want you to see that shining light,
It will shine on, it will shine on,
It will shine on, for you,

[lovesicklee]

[/quote] It's a wrk in progress but would like to here people's opinions

[The Corsair]

I wasn't thrilled by it to be honest. It really offers nothing new, it's all stuff that's been said before.

The grammar was also quite poor, but I guess that's less important.

I'm not sure what improvements I can suggest you make because personally I think 'page one rewrite' but that's not necessarily the only way to go and I don't think I have the right to tell you to scrap a song.

If you can write once, you can do it again and make it better