[Cal_Urwin]

First song I've ever written, just wanted to know if it was any good.

I caught a glimpse of your face
I thought you were there
But when I looked again
There was nothing but air

(Chorus)
Oh girl, yes, I love you
And I don't know what to do
My heart, it, still needs you
So please won't you love me too

I remember the way you used to kiss me
And how I always thought you would be mine
But now I know the way you really think
I just wish I could've held you one last time

(Chorus)

So please girl come back to me
Right next to my heart is where I know you're meant to be
Oh darling please, why can you not see
That I'm in love with you and you're in love with me

(Chorus) x2
Repeat last line of chorus, fade out

[The Corsair]

Put plainly, this is exactly the sort of thing anyone writes first time around... It's cliched and not hugely original but really that doesn't mean much of anything given that this is your first song. Like I said, that's what almost everyone ends up with for their first song. Because of that, I won't focus much on lyrical content.

There's decent potential here and you can clearly write with a good structure and rhyme scheme. It also reads as being very 'songlike', which is good.

Feel free to post more as you write more

Do bear in mind, though, the more you review, the more people will review you and if you post large amounts in a short space of time your songs will tend to get ignored.

[laurabh]

This is really good for a first song! It has quite a lot of emotion in, even though its quite short, and something almost everyone can relate to. Good work, I want to see more