Under Sea

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QuietRamen

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« on: May 12, 2012, 11:49:00 AM »
I was born
My head against my knees
But as I grew
I, myself, swam down to depths of sea.
I know we grow
But sometimes its a little to slow
For me.

One thousand kilometres below surface
I am away from humanity
The pressure and the darkness surrounds me
It blurs reality.
I know I shouldn't feel
Like that but everything is so unreal
For me.

'Cause its too late for me
I'm already drowning
But I'll lift you up to the surface, darling
'Cause you sure aren't coming with me.

I am torn
The waves repeat my please
I will grow
But for now I'll find that secret place under the sea.
It always hurts now
The water washes salt into the wounds
Which bleed.

One hundred thousand kilometres below surface
I am drunk with memory
The pressure and the darkness become me
Become reality.

'Cause its too late for me
I'm already drowning
But I'll lift you up to the surface, darling
'Cause you sure aren't coming with me.

(We're born alone, we die alone)


The chorus is a little... out of place, maybe. But it works fine for now.
[insert amusing quote here]

The Corsair

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« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2012, 11:53:54 AM »
This is wonderful. You've managed to pull off a very dark song without hitting any cliches and haven't used complex and vague metaphors to do so. It's of course not totally blunt and does use metaphor but I think you've hit the perfect balance with this song.

Someone is mowing their lawns at 11 pm here...
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QuietRamen

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« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2012, 11:59:50 AM »
Thank you heaps! Yeah, I feel like this is a really good song. I guess since its about something that happened very recently, I can translate that into song easier than usual.

Why is someone mowing their lawns at this time of night.
[insert amusing quote here]