[The Corsair]

A break from my more charged stuff. I've been moving toward the Zeitgeist movement lately and it seems all I've written about lately has been related to that, and even before then I was writing things expressing those views. I love writing that stuff, but if it's all I write about I get bored (and the songs themselves get boring).

So this explores how we're all basically the centre of our personal 'fairytales' but sometimes get the other characters wrong. It is, without a doubt, the most melodic thing I've written in months but of course that doesn't show in lyrics... It's in 3/4 by the way

Disparity

I'm just coming out with it
This is goodbye
And I'm sorry but trust me
There's reasons why
Not that you'll hear them
Not that you'll care
But something must fill your head
When you cease to cry

I've seen the future
It's not all that bad
We fly through the smiles
And swim through the sad
But we go alone
We grow apart
And some man gets what
I never had

(Chorus)
So I'll sing you a lullaby
About how your hero is coming
That hero's not me
And I'm so disappointed
I'm not in your fairytale
And isn't that the truth
I'm there for you always
But shining armour is not casual wear for me
And it makes me so mad at the world
I fought the fight and now he gets the girl

I hope it's clear that
I'm hurting too
Believe me when I say
You'll make I through
I'll be the same
Just miles away
We both get to start
Our lives anew

Wake up tomorrow
It will already be a whole day better

(Chorus)

I climbed the tower
I killed the beast
It's not my story
It's not you and me
Ever after
Desperately
A boy and a girl
And a pack of thieves

(Chorus)
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
I fought the fight and now he gets the girl x2

[Peppermint]

A break from my more charged stuff. I've been moving toward the Zeitgeist movement lately and it seems all I've written about lately has been related to that, and even before then I was writing things expressing those views. I love writing that stuff, but if it's all I write about I get bored (and the songs themselves get boring).

So this explores how we're all basically the centre of our personal 'fairytales' but sometimes get the other characters wrong. It is, without a doubt, the most melodic thing I've written in months but of course that doesn't show in lyrics... It's in 3/4 by the way

Disparity

I'm just coming out with it
This is goodbye
And I'm sorry but trust me
There's reasons why
Not that you'll hear them
Not that you'll care
But something must fill your head
When you cease to cry

I've seen the future
It's not all that bad
We fly through the smiles
And swim through the sad
But we go alone
We grow apart
And some man gets what
I never had

(Chorus)
So I'll sing you a lullaby
About how your hero is coming
That hero's not me
And I'm so disappointed
I'm not in your fairytale
And isn't that the truth
I'm there for you always
But shining armour is not casual wear for me
And it makes me so mad at the world
I fought the fight and now he gets the girl

I hope it's clear that
I'm hurting too
Believe me when I say
You'll make I through
I'll be the same
Just miles away
We both get to start
Our lives anew

Wake up tomorrow
It will already be a whole day better

(Chorus)

I climbed the tower
I killed the beast
It's not my story
It's not you and me
Ever after
Desperately
A boy and a girl
And a pack of thieves

(Chorus)
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
I fought the fight and now he gets the girl x2

Very good cosair well done 

[Mr.Chainsaw]

But shining armour is not casual wear for me
And it makes me so mad at the world

Mate, fantastic , show stopping line quickly followed by something awful! When you say "so mad" it sounds like you're exagerrating. Like those CalSpeak girls "Did you see what she was wearing it was sooooooo awful". "Furious", "Rant", "Sickened", something more emotionally charged would go a long way.

I climbed the tower
I killed the beast

I like this fairytale "cliche" her. Maybe stud some more around the place? Poisioned apples, enchanted sleep, etc etc. Really trawl Disneys back catalogue for cliched images. I think it would underline this personal fairytale idea, and highlight how petty and self absorbed it can be

PEter

[The Corsair]

Cheers for the feedback Peter. I'm right back onto this one with edits. The 'mad at the world' line has been changed and the whole first verse has been re-written. It's not Disney'd up but it links to the fairytale idea a bit better. I'll post it again when I've added another verse.

[Caifx004]

Very imaginative... I like it... It takes me away from here... Good job...

[flossie]

Caifx004: It must have also taken you away from your messages page too then cos I've had no reply from you about our collab for the comp!!! 

No worries, Kaf and Tina have stepped in so no harm done 

[titiami]

SAD WORDS, BUT NICE WRITING. I'VE BEEN LOOKING AT SOME OF YOUR WORK AND I MUST SAY I LIKED MOST OF IT. AND I ENVY YOUR WRITING, ITS GOOD.

[flossie]

Hiya,

Sorry I was very rude earlier and didn't comment on your lyrics  .  Thuis is a really well thought out song.  When I read lyrics I always think, could I write music to this and the answer in this case is yes!  I like the fairytale theme too a  nice twist in this love song.
x

[The Corsair]

Haha, cheers flossie. Dw about 'seeming rude', it gave me something to chuckle about this morning.

Thanks for the reviews everyone (though I think titiami needs to remove the sticky tape on their caps lock key :p )
The re-write is almost done so I'll post that hopefully within a few hours...