[S.T.C]

When i was young......i never won.
a lover lost, a lover gone.

and it`s left me insecure
knocking at another door.

for fear that you will take it all
and year by year,you`ll never call

take my soul out to the cold
so alone,feeling old....

when i was young..
i never won...

...........................................

I tried to shout,i tried to call
bought her presents
bought it all

found a ship to sail away
but she couldn`t stop
she didn`t stay.

She didn`t stay..stay..stay
..
When i was young, i never won
a lover lost ,a lover gone.

and it`s left me insecure
knocking at another door.

for fear that you will take it all
and year by year,you`ll never call

take my soul out to the cold
so alone,feeling old..

i never knew just what went wrong
and she was gone....gone ...gone

i burned my love, i wrote a song
 threw it on a setting sun.

When i was young,i never won
a lover,lost a lover gone..

Just spent an hour writing this....going to go through it later,,see if it makes sense,and that..

[The Corsair]

Some of the punctuation is in strange places and that made reading it a bit awkward but content-wise this is brilliant, by far the best I've seen from you Very original and interestingly written

[Peppermint]

^ agreed

It ryhmes nicely aswell.
One of the best ones i've read from you songsthatcry IMO.

[S.T.C]

^ agreed

It ryhmes nicely aswell.
One of the best ones i've read from you songsthatcry IMO.

Thanks..it`s raining today and i`ve got nothing to do so will try and come up with something else.!

[Dutchbeat]

Hi Songsthatcry,


good lyrics, and very suitable to put them to music, but it may be a bit sadish, without a sort of change or twist at a certain point.

Hard for me to explain in English, but i think it would work or be more powerful if there would be one part with a sort of turn-around or a suprise...does that make sense 

[S.T.C]

Hi Songsthatcry,


good lyrics, and very suitable to put them to music, but it may be a bit sadish, without a sort of change or twist at a certain point.

Hard for me to explain in English, but i think it would work or be more powerful if there would be one part with a sort of turn-around or a suprise...does that make sense 

I wrote this for guitar only...acoustic...so you might be right....we all see what we want to see in words, i would probably add another dimension to it,depends what sort of melody it has in it.

but thanks for the input.

steve

[postmn]

, its like a frank sintra style and otis redding style, its good keep em coming