[Sellon]

this song was named after batso, the climber, cause...well its a climb trying to help someone when they just keep turning around and going back to where they were, but i renamed it Snowy cause...that's her nickname
She had white/silver hair, I always called her snowy...and she had pale skin....

This is a disaster and you're falling faster
You have no morals, you've got no soul
You take everything that you're sold
 If you want my advice, put on some clothes
Cause it gets awfully cold
At least in here with you

And hey, you couldn't sell your story anyway
Cause you couldn't ever get your story straight
You're so cheap half a dollar is the going rate
You've gotta get going before the going gets you
You've gotta get going before this defeats you

I thought I'd intervene
Find a place to help you
And fill the places inbetween
Like the places where you fit the needle
I'll make it all go away
I'll make sure it never haunts you again

And hey, you couldn't sell your story anyway
Cause you couldn't ever get your story straight
You're so cheap half a dollar is the going rate
You've gotta get going before the going gets you
And stabs you in the back

(From Washington to Palisades)
All the places between
(You explode like hand grenades)
Cause they just ain't your scene
(But I don't like where you've been)
And I've spent all my time
(where you've spent your days)
Defending a lie
Defending you
(When I've spent the past year trying to change your ways)
Get cleaned up...
Get clean...for me..

And hey, you couldn't sell your story anyway
Cause you couldn't ever get your story straight
You're so cheap half a dollar is the going rate
You've gotta get going before the going gets you
You've gotta get going before this defeats you

And I've spent the last 2  years defending a lie
I've been lying to myself because a part of me left with you
When you let this die..

[The Corsair]

It's all there as usual and has everything that makes your stuff good but there's the odd bit that seems a bit uncharacteristic...

'You've gotta get going before the going gets you' seems a bit cliche, but that may just be because it's close to 'when the going gets tough the tough get going'

'Cause they just ain't your scene' also feels a bit off. I think 'scene' somehow doesn't fit with the language you've used throughout the song

Aside from that it's brilliant, and with a fairly clear message (A guy dating a girl (possibly a hooker?) with an addiction problem who tries to get her clean but ultimately fails is what I've picked up)

[Kafla]

Really good again Sellon

I can imagine this being accompanied by Iggy Pop

[melfen]

As I am new to the forum, I don't feel I have the right to criticize anyone,although would like to make an observation rather than a criticism, writing specific lyrics about specific people limits a songs market, thus limiting its marketability. like I say just an observation.

[Sellon]

Umm what...? no it doesn't...explain to me exactly how it does

[Kafla]

As I am new to the forum, I don't feel I have the right to criticize anyone,although would like to make an observation rather than a criticism, writing specific lyrics about specific people limits a songs market, thus limiting its marketability. like I say just an observation.

Got to completely disagree here - writing about specific people and situations is the only way to write

You need to please yourself before other will respect a lyric

If you write well enough others will read what they want from a lyric, we all more or less share the same emotions

I think Sellon does this really well 

[The Corsair]

Perhaps to take it a step further, you can write about anything. There is literally nothing you can't write about in your lyrics. They can be general, personal, preaching, teaching, whatever. If the lyrics achieve what the writer set out to achieve with them then things are pretty on-track.

I notice you use the word 'marketability', which would suggest you think anything too specific won't work commercially. Let's explore this a bit...
Songs about a person that were successful:
Roxanne
Billie Jean
Layla
Lola
Eleanor Rigby
Songs that were personal to the singer that were successful:
Love Will Tear Us Apart
Under The Bridge
Wake Me Up When September Ends
Wild World (Points for it also being about a girl)
Suspicious Minds

I could go on...

Sorry melfen but I have to say I disagree with you entirely.
I also disagree that you can't criticise lyrics. Anyone can and feel free to do so any time.

[laurabh]

I like this a lot, especially the chorus, it has a lot of meaning, just like all your songs, and the chorus seems so catchy. Would love to hear this as a song

[Songsmith]

Hi mate,

really like this a lot, as usual, lol, tells a great story, a story of rescue & very heartfelt. I can feel the rhythm in it & it is another gem!!!!

Great stuff

[Peppermint]

I like it .
But there is one thing i have noticed with your songs sellon is that they seem to always be very long although this one is quite short for you.

[Dutchbeat]

that is quite something

very good lines in these lyrics again

[Sellon]

Close Corsair, she's not a hooker lol, she's...uhh, she likes to sleep with lots of people, and I wasn't dating her, she's a friend...but she ruined her life and I tried to help her... also, I'll keep that in mind, this was only a quick one, so I suppose I rushed it and those lines weren't as good as they could have been,
Also, thanks Kaf, that's my favorite thing about writing, and I'm glad I do it well, that's what makes me want to keep writing
thanks to everyone else also, means a lot to me when people say nice things about my writing, believe it or not, it does make a massive difference.

[postmn]

Very nice lyrics paints a picture in some bits, which is good, keep em coming