[James Nighthawk]

http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_11892388
(Weblink is now iPad/iOS compatable. Hurrah for progress! But headphones please if so!!  )

This one was written for a close friend of mine who works in IT. Despite the fact we are housemates we seem to spend more time speaking over the internet as our schedules are polar opposites. Music biz vs IT biz - Perfect housemates as you can imagine! Not gonna say anything else about this to start with, let you listen with an open mind


"ftw"

Hello from your good friend
Your friend just across town
We speak online daily
This ol’ life gets you down

A forward attachment
Breaks the working day blues
Harmless distraction
Full of harmless abuse

How r u doin’?
How have u been?
You reply with a smiley face
For the Win

So through web casts and forecasts
Our social skills stay on parole
Now our lives become hands off
As I laugh my ass off, So droll
We recount our nights out
We leave half the vowels out
Linguistic undoing,
Or modern renewing?
Who knows…

MySpace is my virtue
My home page adorned
With a little “Too much info”
We could not forewarn

Lo, stalkers and slackers
Identity fraud
But who’s really loosing face
In technology’s war?

So we roll on the floor
As we all laugh out loud
What’s so wrong?
We bookmark the pages
This R.S.S living’s ‘da bomb’
Our high speed connection
An imperial direction
To a world of false living
Where all love and all giving
Is gone, gone, gone…

Now the Day’s over
All life can begin
Skip on to our happy homes
For The Win

[domj]

I like this and it's something i can relate to. Now i live in the middle of nowhere most of the conversation with my friends are on FB or through emails. The reality is it would only take me a couple of hours to go round their house or go for a drink.
The production sounds very good, nice jangly sound on the guitars and a good voice.
Has quite a similarity to John Lennons 'Happy Xmas'.

ps. I now know what ftw means! I always wondered what it meant.

[estreet]

Well 'For The Win' isn't it's only meaning Dom. In Online game-playing circles it's more likely to be used as a variation of 'WTF" (What The f***).
Yep I'm a World of Warcraft player - should know better at my age (very old) ....

[Ramshackles]

This is well played, sang, produced and pretty catchy. My only gripe is that a lot of the songwriting in it is a bit 'old hat'. The 6/8 rhythm with the stacatto guitar chords on every 4th beat, and the chorus on the subdominant chord going major to minor to the tonic and then to the major 7th (e.g. F to Fminor to C to C7) ...and the chord sequence for the rest is following suit..
It all feels very familiar which is not necessarily a bad thing...but its a bit too familiar, it doesnt have your own 'sound' so much as some of your others...you could easily be covering some old song

I quite like the lyrics...I'm awful at commenting on lyrics so I cant really expand on that! My least favourite part of the lyrics; the title phrase  

[cheff daniel]

wow, there's a lot of lennon in this. drum brakes, snare sound and all. a bit to much maybe?



gr.   Dan

[James Nighthawk]

Hehe... Glad the Beatles references are coming through!

I love The Beatles and know their work inside out, but never quite got around to using some of their classic motifs in my own writing.

So perhaps I was playing catch up here! (Major Minor switch, stacked vocal ahhs, etc). But agreed; whilst the chords are lovely, they are well trodden. Other songwritery types are likely gonna hear them a mile off! For better or worse...

@Ram the title phrase is a purposeful reference to on-line acronyms (I also reference lol, rofl, tmi in the song). I am a big language nerd as I have mentioned to others on this forum, and the lyrics are a talking point on the pro's and con's of how the internet is changing the way we speak and type. I hope this comes across!

And yes, it does sound like an old song. I quite like that here; inadvertently I put a modern topical lyric against an old sound. I don't take credit for that juxtaposition. It just kinda turned out that way! Funny how songs often take charge and you can't control them sometimes...

As such, a question for you all - Does sometimes writing something that feels like an old, familiar song, allow you to distance yourself from the piece, sometimes in a good way?
This was a rare example for me; I produced this track with the open ears I usually apply to client work. Usually I can be too precious with my own songs. But here the "workaday" chords here allowed me to play to a style and have fun with it... Am I hitting a chord with anyone here, or just rambling nonsense

[Songsmith]

Good song this but I am afraid it has a couple of my pet hates in it e.g the breathy lead vocal get on my tits after a while & mispronunciation of distraction to distract"shone" sounds stupid. There are a lot of flat notes in the vocals too which make me smart here & there.
It is a nice song & those irritations are just unfortunate they come together in the same song for me. 

[estreet]

Yes very Lennon and a familiar sound but a tuneful and good sounding song with a very nice vocal and nice harmonies. Personally, I didn't like the busy drum part on the rise, especially the first time it happens and there's an unpleasant flam with one of the guitar chops. As it happened, my drummer, who teaches in my studio room walked through as I was listening and muttered 'he's trying to be too clever'. Only other point was that it could do with some lead guitar or piano providing some fills between the lines from about halfway in to keep it interesting, otherwise after a minute or so you've heard everything that's going to happen sound-wise. Don't want to be down on it though - it's a nice job.

[Kafla]

One of the best melodies, arrangement , singing , chord changes and production I have heard on this forum

And

Worst lyrics I have heard - sorry to my taste it's awful 

[James Nighthawk]

Spot on estreet.

Whilst I like the vibe the drummer brought to this song, he did make certain sections too busy. This was the most straightforward take he did, there were busier!! He was a cheap(ish) session drummer, and I got what I paid for. Recently I have found a pricier but much more malleable session player who is a dream to work with - better sounds, crisper playing, the lot! These songs coming in the next few months!

I did however ask for the military style rise under the rising sections. "an imperial direction".. Geddit?! The fills were more than I wanted. Alas, mostly drummers and producers are gonna notice such things so I am loathe to rerecord for this reason alone...

[James Nighthawk]

One of the best melodies, arrangement , singing , chord changes and production I have heard on this forum

And

Worst lyrics I have heard - sorry to my taste it's awful 

Well um, big thanks!!, and um, ok, not your thing then! The lyrics are more than a bit tongue in cheek. I have a tendency to be a bit heavy lyrically. But no offence taken, each to their own :-)

[Kafla]

One of the best melodies, arrangement , singing , chord changes and production I have heard on this forum

And

Worst lyrics I have heard - sorry to my taste it's awful 

Well um, big thanks!!, and um, ok, not your thing then! The lyrics are more than a bit tongue in cheek. I have a tendency to be a bit heavy lyrically. But no offence taken, each to their own :-)

Aplogies James if I offended you - it's just me mate - I just need emotion in a song whether it be love, loss, pain etc

It's very cleverly written but I like songs that make me sad 

Don't take offence my friend I just write the first thing that comes to my head - and I have no right to be criticising you   

[James Nighthawk]

"no offence taken"

Either you misread me or thought I was covering for pride. Either way, nope, I didn't take offence! The song is whimsical and it is what it is! My only concern was that it would turn into a comedy song. I hope it didn't!! 

[Dutchbeat]

Nighthawk, that is really good
impresive, and that John Lennon feeling is there for real

more towards the end, choosing for keeping it real
or making it ridiculous for real, is something you may still want to decide on

it can go both ways, but i needs to go either of these ways

sorry for my lack of english, but i think it clearly needs to go one way or the other

i would recommend to go for the serious side from the beginning and stay there

because your song and your ability to perform this in the style you chose
deserves that

[Kafla]

Oh man , I feel all guilty

I was far too harsh, the lyrics are obviously very good and well thought out

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say I think they are too contrived and hip for such a fantastic production