Hey Kingsley, I'm gonna have to agree with Corsair. It isn't that the intent and meaning of the song isn't understood, it's that the lyrics don't evoke the feeling. This sentiment has been said a billion times, I think finding a fresh way to say it is the challenge. I'm also in agreement about the last line being the most interesting.
I think one of the biggest problems that lyricists and poets run into, writer of any stripe I suppose, definitely me, is writing something others have already made known. Especially if it has a significant cultural impact. This is why cliche is cliche and why some lines are impossible for anyone else to use again. You write "sweet surrender" and I immediately think Sarah McLachlan; you write "Why can't you see, That you belong with me," I immediately think of "Every Breath You Take" by the Police; you have "Run away with me" and I think of Norah Jones. Largely because i'm reading it and not hearing it.
Unfortunately it doesn't matter how honest, meaningful or true saying "And without you, I feel so empty on the inside" is, it's been said so many times that way, we don't get much credit saying it again even if it was new to us when we wrote it. It sucks, I know. That being said, generic lyrics can still be part of an amazing song if the song is good enough. "In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins, for example, isn't lyrically rich or interesting but it works to make a great song on the back of a great bit of music. There are countless other example of somewhat simple or uninspiring lyrics that work very well with music. This makes it very hard to judge lyrics outside of the context of music. Further, the performer might add a completely separate value to a song, the impact being in the voice, not the lyrical content. Their performance can make something seemingly mundane into something spectacular. I'm sure we all have favorite artists we could listen to sing anything and be moved.
It's hard to really judge lyrics by reading them if they don't stand out. If you are confident the music can carry the lyrics or the performer can sell them, then they might work fine. Sometimes simple, straightforward lyrics are the best. But keep at it and good luck with your writing!