[laurabh]

This is the latest song I've written. I've still got a lot to learn, but I do feel like I'm improving. I'm also learning guitar, so I can start writing some music, just a shame I can't sing! So this is a pop/rock song, I can imagine it being quite electronic too.. I think. Quite upbeat. Tell me what you think

 Haven't said much for a while
What's the point anyway, cause you never seem to listen anymore.
I'm fed up now,
So it doesn't really matter, but I could use an explanation.

I followed you round,
I played your stupid games.
Did what you said,
Got ahead and now you couldn't care less.

What did I do wrong,
I tried my best.
So I guess it's time to give up, I'm wasting my time,
Cause I'm not fitting in.

I'm letting go,
Before I sink too low.
Don't think you'll notice,
In fact I think you'd rather me sink.
I've gotta go,
I've gotta run,
Don't care where,
Cause I don't know where I belong.
So let me go,
Let me run,
I'm letting go.

Might have a chance if I go now,
Make new friends, try new things, start over again.
It's gonna be tough,
But it doesn't really matter, cause I can't take this anymore.

You let me down,
I hung around with your stupid friends.
Did what you said,
Got ahead, and now you couldn't care less.

What did I do wrong,
I tried my best.
So I guess it's time to give up, I'm wasting my time,
Cause I'm not fitting in.

I'm letting go,
Before I sink too low.
Don't think you'll notice,
In fact I think you'd rather me sink.
I've gotta go,
I've gotta run,
Don't care where,
Cause I don't know where I belong.
So let me go,
Let me run,
I'm letting go.

You won me over, dragged me down.
I gotta get back up now, start again.
It's time I forgot, moved on,
Cause I'm in control.

I'm letting go,
Before I sink too low.
Don't think you'll notice,
In fact I think you'd rather me sink.
I've gotta go,
I've gotta run,
Don't care where,
Cause I don't know where I belong.
So let me go,
Let me run,
Gotta let go.
 

 

[Kayles86]

A good song,i can almost feel wat youve written.

[S.T.C]

the question is could this be sung?could your verse follow a melody , i don`t know...i will read it again...but what i do is look through song books , and work out the way famous songwriters write their lyrics.........you could also use the music of a famous song and write new words......it`s not easy to do, thats why good ones get famous.

[The Corsair]

It's not super original but it does come across as quite personal. I also think the idea covered in the first stanza with
'i'm fed up now
so it doesn't rally matter but I could use an explanation'
Is one that isn't very well explored in music. People put it down to conflicted emotions and perhaps some lingering longing or some dire need for closure when it seems that really its nothing like that at all. I think the way you say it so bluntly makes it clear it's not about conflict or closure, so well done there.