It's a Long Way Down

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Innominate

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« on: February 26, 2012, 06:52:04 PM »
Hey look a Lyric section! (:

Wrote this today, would like feedback before I overwork it. So if you're inclined, i'd be much obliged.

INTRO
It's a lo-ong, way down
It's a lo-ong, way down

VERSE 1
Some of us will learn to soar
With easy wings unfurled
To fly across the sunlit skies
And dance above the world

But most will learn the glide along
And simply not to fall
As those of us with broken wings
Who never learned at all

PRE-CHORUS
In the end we're the same
Cosmic piles of dust
When we land we'll all fade away
Into the ground as we must

CHORUS
But It's a long way down
From the top, to the ground
It's a lo-ong, way down
Til you hit the ground

VERSE 2
I never knew my dad at all
My nest a broken home
And while my momma loved us all
I needed something more

Cuz love was simply not enough
To teach me how to fly
So now i'm falling like a stone
And screaming all the while

PRE-CHORUS
In the end we're the same
Cosmic piles of dust
When we land we'll all fade away
Into the ground as we must

CHORUSx2
But it's a long way down
From the top, to the ground
It's a lo-ong, way down
Til you hit the ground


BRIDGE

VERSE 3
I don't have much to offer you
And less of which i'm proud
And I may never learn to soar
Or even how to glide

And so i'd understand if you
Would rather say goodbye
Cuz I just hope to make it through
And land before I die

CHORUS
But it's a long way down
From the top, to the ground
It's a lo-ong, way down
Til you hit the ground



Songsmith

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« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2012, 11:14:56 PM »
Hi,
 
really like these lyrics a lot, very powerful stuff, I can't add anymore really apart from encourage you to work on it to get a melody recorded for it. It all seems really well structured so the music is the missing piece. Nice one :)

Innominate

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« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2012, 04:50:09 AM »
Hey thanks for the input Songsmith. It's still rough and needs editing, particularly the pre-chorus. I wanted to get input before I really changed it to get a different perspective on the parts I think need changing. It actually does have a melody, aside from the bridge, i'm just not brave enough to record it.

ShAaShAy

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« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2012, 10:10:45 AM »
hey innominate!
i think this is nice..really like the pre chorus.!
i'd say these fit rock/punk, but that's jus me.  :D

The Corsair

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« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2012, 02:46:32 AM »
I think it could be worthwhile to let the pre-chorus be louder and bigger than the chorus itself and bring it back to a minimal sound in the actual chorus in a slightly grungy manner, especially as the pre-chorus has more 'content' message-wise than the chorus.
Defective Elector

Sellon

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« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2012, 02:47:07 AM »
 I kinda like this...It reminds me a lot of how life is either good or bad...but you don't get to decide...and don't find out until the end
But i like this, for real, its...kinda cool how you have a theme here instead of just words.
What if we both just smiled at once?

domstone86

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« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2012, 08:10:45 PM »
Luke! Can I steal this one please? It fits my new song nearly perfect :D

I'll credit you of course <3

I guess the main issue is whether you would want a different melody for it...
« Last Edit: March 07, 2012, 09:05:17 PM by domstone86 »

Innominate

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« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2012, 10:18:05 PM »
Through it's life a lyric may love many a melody. Do as you wish, credit as always, link when you've finished it.  (: Look forward to hearing it with a different melody, should be weird and interesting.

domstone86

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« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2012, 11:25:55 PM »
Ok :) I'll let you know how it goes, you'll probably be like "ARGH! Song's too upbeat", etc but we'll see how it goes, please don't let me continue with it if you don't think that it fits! :)

Innominate

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« Reply #9 on: March 08, 2012, 03:01:38 AM »
I'm just one voice among billions, one set of ears, only one experience. If you think it fits, then it does. Songs that contrast upbeat, happy music with heartbreaking lyrics are awesome, Last Kiss by Pearl Jam for instance. I'm a big fan of trying things in spite of any reservation! Good luck with it.