[Paul]

I've  produced several songs for forum members lately and it's fair to say that I've being neglecting my own writing.  I have one or two songs that I've battled with for a while.  Whenever I produce for anyone else, I'm able to pull it all together fairly quickly.  Increasingly when I produce my own songs, I tend to go 'round in circles, sometimes getting near to what I want to achieve, then changing the mix, getting one aspect right but losing something that I was quite happy with originally.  I'm not totally happy with this but it's somewhere near and good enough for a home recording.  Sometimes, you've just got to let your songs find their own way in the world, so today, I'm half reluctantly letting this go. I much prefer the songwriting aspect to the recording.  

I wrote this 'round about Christmas time last year.  Its called Connected. It was written on piano, which isn't my first instrument but I enjoy doing this as it allows me to come up with ideas that I wouldn't really have found on guitar.  I hope you enjoy listening.  

http://www.musicxray.com/xrays/484106

Connected

Maybe there's no reason for the things we do in life.
Perhaps we're here to learn from our mistakes.

I may be a man who's lost his way.
We may pass on the stairway.

I can't help but think we're connected.
Purpose is never revealed.
Nothing is lost in the detail.
Reason is often concealed.

We may meet in anger, imparting so much pain.
Perhaps we'll never speak or meet again.

You may feel abandoned or afraid.
We may pass on the stairway.

I can't help but think we're connected.
Purpose is never revealed.
Nothing is lost in the detail.
Reason is often concealed.

[cheff daniel]

very, very nice paul. i love that repetetive, almost chinese piano that goes one and on, giving it a lovely atmosphere. production is fine, maybe the low voyce a bit more upfront. (look who's talking)  guitar is a little harsh but on the other hand quite surprisingly when it comes in. so thats all talk, talk. its a great song.



gr.   Dan

[James Nighthawk]

Very pretty stuff. Endearing vocal style that has certain touchstones for me yet manages to have a character all of itself.

I agree that perhaps in the verses the voice could come up a bit in the mix. Very enjoyable song

[Schavuitje]

Hiya Paul

I thought this was very well done mate. I agree with Chef about the vocals. In some places they really got lost but

apart from that a very accomplished song again. That piano was very nice indeed... although right at the end the song seemed to lose some momentum,

the piano sounded a bit too lonely when other things dropped back. That piano only seemed to work with everything esle.

It's a very nice song though and of course that's just what I'm hearting through my headphones

Good job sir 

[Kafla]

This is excellent, I love the way the piano drives the rythmn along

You really have beautiful touch on the guitar and the drums you produce are world class

Like most of your songs it treads that fine line between optimism and pathos - I really like the lyrics

Another top effort 

[Songsmith]

Hiya Paul,

another great song, really well played & sung. I agree with the other guys about the vocal coming up a tad in the verses & I also loved the "Chinese piano" sound too. I know exactly what you mean about songwriting  verses the recording bit, but I think you have recorded this really well & just a slight remix would meet everyones needs, lol. Nice one mate  

[jim morrison]

Really like the lyrics on this one Paul and the guitar work is fantastic

[tone]

Hi Paul

Producing for other forum members sounds interesting - I look forward to hearing what you've been up to very soon

I love the unusual piano riff in this song, it gives it a very unique sound-world. The gentle melody in the verse is very emotive, and the lift into the chorus works really well. I have only one criticism. On lines 2 & 4 of the chorus, I can't help feeling like an opportunity to develop the harmony has been missed. I don't know what key the song is in, but if the first two chords of the chorus are C & Am, I'd love to hear lines 2 & 4 drop down to an F or Dm. Just a suggestion... Also, I love the way the vocal harmony comes in on the word connected. But I'd like to hear more. If feels like there's room to make the chorus a bit bigger, and some harmony would go a long way to achieve this.

Suggestions notwithstanding, the song sounds really great, but I'll echo the thoughts above and say that the vocals are a bit buried.

Lovely production as always Paul, good to see you post another song. Thanks for sharing.

[Dutchbeat]

Paul, perfect perfection, I think

and no, nothing is lost in the detail

[nooms]

very nice paul,
sounds really full on the speakers  (theyre out upstairs...when the cats away the mice turn it up !)
get more of a sense of the 'lost' verse vocals at volume...
but i agree they need to be higher..
i find when you suddenly rise up in the second part of the verse its a little too strong..
nice changes & thoughtful lyric
think its that piano riff like running water makes it hopeful & positive
nooms

[estreet]

I like the feel of this Paul, and that piano part is extremely effective. Agree with what's been said about the vocal getting a bit lost - maybe a bit more compression would do it as some words do leap out a bit. Very accomplished arrangement that's very fitting for the mood and the melody. 

[Paul]

Thanks to everyone who posted a review for this song.  I really appreciate that you have taken the time to respond.  When I first posted the song I was aware of the issues surrounding the vocal level but got a little lazy about addressing this as I was tired of going 'round in circles with this song trying to achieve the mix that I could hear in my head.  The good thing about posting songs on this forum is that people notice when things aren't quite right.  Your comments about this prompted me to raise the vocal in the verses and also lower the vocal when perhaps it was a little bit too loud.  It's still not perfect and I didn't want to get involved with a full remix.  I'm much happier with the way that it sounds now.  Chef, thanks for mentioning the harshness of the guitar, I've toned that down too.  Tone, thanks for your suggestions re the harmony.  I might revisit this one day to explore your ideas further.  for now, I'm happy not to adjust it any further as I have other projects under development.    There's a new link to the song in my original post and also below this one.  

Once again, a big thank you to everyone who responded to this song.  I know how difficult it can be to find time to review so I really do appreciate your input!  

Paul

http://www.musicxray.com/xrays/484106

[Schavuitje]

Brilliant Paul The vocals are much clearer now and there is a harshness that has dissapeared too. That must have been the guitar.

Sounds great now. This is top class 

[tone]

Yes that remix has helped matters enormously Paul, well done

[Cameron Fielding]

First time I have heard anything of yours. Interesting voice, reminds of somebody from the 80s but can't put my finger on it. I really like the pulse in this one.