[pompeyjazz]

Long time, no post from me. Hope you are all keeping well. I’ll try and catch up with some of the latest songs posted. I’ve been playing live a bit with just vocals and acoustic which is wonderful. This is a quick composition from last week.


V1
Now there's nothing left to say
Packed my bags and went away
Full of memories, a lifetime for to keep

I did all that I as able
Kept my cards above the table
Hidden secrets lying in the deck

Ch
Now I can't turn the hands of time
Maybe I found something never destined to be mine
I know your light will always shine
Deep inside me – Oh those dreaded hands of time

V2
Didn't want to rule your life
Too much trouble, too much strife
Then the fog descended blurring all in sight

Ch

Bridge
Clock is ticking on the wall, counting down the days
Many ways, many ways, better days

Ch

[rightly]

Nice song here.
The vocals are relaxed, but at times it's like you cut off earlier than you'd like to.
Might be intentional, as you struggle with time.
Nice to hear from you John. 🙂

[Dorian]

@pompeyjazz
Especially love the sound of the guitar and the harmonies starting at 1.35.

Agree with @rightly  on the vocals. The timbre of your voice is great, but I think the vocals might fit better with the relaxed music and the laid back guitar if you sing notes somewhat longer.

On the lyrics: These resonated with me, for (like so many of us) I’ve known a few lost loves in my life. It leaves you with a temporary gap, during which you must retrace other parts of your identity, The music itself is quite relaxed, which is why I get the feeling there’s an acceptance, knowing time will heal all wounds as long as you find new ways, while still there’s this ominous feeling of sadness.

Cheers, Dorian

[Carlonely]

Good work!
I like the mood and the british indie vibe of the guitars. It's not that easy to write a moody indie song!
What I miss is a more prominent chorus which could be achieved by making the "ohhhhs" louder or by singing in a higher ocatve like you do at the end of the song.

[pompeyjazz]

@rightly @Dorian @Carlonely Thanks for the great feedback and advice guys

[MonnoDB]

Hey @pompeyjazz - your voice sounds lovely in this (lovely bit of reverb!!).. Good and poignant lyrics. I really like the pace - I didn't have an issue with the note length but I do agree with Carlonely that the oohs could be a little louder and would have enhanced the chorus so.

Great to hear and see you posting again.. Nice return song ! Must go over to SC and see if I've missed a bunch!

K

[Nick Ryder]

Hi @pompeyjazz John. Nice to see you back.

What a great production on this. Every instrument, and especially your vocal pops out of the speakers in its own space.

The verse sections of the song could feature in a David Lynch film. The chorus is more traditional and very pleasant. Love the maj7th chord at the end of the chorus sections.

I was glad you went high on the last chorus vocal because as it was leading into it, I was hoping for a guitar solo, to change it up a bit, but by changing the vocal melody, you achieved the same effect.

Great work.

[pompeyjazz]

@MonnoDB @Nick Ryder Thanks so much both of you. I guess this one could have gone many ways but I decided to keep it simple, a snapshot in time rather than develop it further

[moraamarolaloba]

What a nice song @pompeyjazz
I was wondering what you were doing because I didn't see you here sharing your work and... Aquí estás!!!
I think you have a great facility for moving in different styles, this ballad fits you like a glove!!
Good job and glad to see you
Buenos días!

[ChrisPrice]

Yeah, I've been absent a while too for one reason or another. This is everything I've come to expect from you. I haven't read the other reviews so forgive me if this has already been raised, but there's an odd drum roll after 'never destined to be mine' (first chorus)..it doesn't sound quite right to these old ears. Otherwise this is fabulous. Vocals are very John Lennon - no bad thing for me. I really enjoyed this.

[Bankie]

Lovely song, love the chord progression, melody and arrangements. I think the vocals would have worked better if they were a little lazier and smoothed out so the lines ran into each other a bit better - not sure if I'm saying the same as the others, but that's how I see it. I also thought the echo on those vox was just a smidgeon too high.

That's just minor stuff though (I do tend to focus on small detail when the quality is high like this) - thought it was great, and I deffo enjoyed it.

[subvibe]

Hi

Great song & could be a movie theme
love the style & feel to this song

Super

subvibe

[Elvis Nash]

Hey man
Cool production and smooth vocals
Good song man !!!

[calafinestrat]

Nice song with some lovely chord progressions. I agree with others that the vocals might sound better if more laid back and elongated but good job.

[kevysc]

@pompeyjazz  Lovely wistfully melancholic vibe to this one. Great production, nice one

Hope the live gigs went well

Kevin