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Break Me

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Bankie

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« on: January 21, 2024, 03:04:04 PM »
https://soundcloud.com/bankie666/break-me

Here's a new rock track, just completed today. As usual, it's not me singing - I've used the same guy (John Long) as last time. I've tried to keep the lyrics a bit ambiguous, but it's largely about intolerance of views and the anger held against those voicing against them.

Technical breakdown:
In order to help give the choruses a lift, I've used unannounced modulation, changing key from Cm up to Dm on all of them (chords below, after the lyrics). The initial fade in, and the vocal effect just before the final chorus were achieved by using a reverse reverb. I guess many of you know how to do this, but in a nutshell: take a tiny snippet of sound (including compression/effects) from what you're fading into (e.g. the first syllable or first note) into a new track. Then, add lashings of reverb, and the mix should be 100% reverb - i.e. completely wet. Then mixdown and reverse what you have, and place it so that the loud bit at the end matches up with the beginning of the sound you snipped from. You can then crop the clip (because it's going to be a long clip), and fade it in so that it comes in smoothly.

Guitar effects are via Bias FX 2, bass is EZBass, drums are EZDrummer. Synth sounds (including the short brass/strings bit) are from Omnisphere and Korg Triton. Vocals are enhanced via Nectar 3. I used Melodyne, but only the amplitude tool to get all syllables consistent - no pitch correction was used, and I think in this type of music, impreciseness is king. I've started using Neutron 4 to help with mixing, and Ozone 11 for mastering - for a complete amateur like myself, these are a godsend.

======================
VERSE

I am not the enemy
Looking for a remedy
Bring a better destiny
One step closer

Hoping you can understand
Want to be a better man
Just taking cover
Until it's over

PRE CHORUS

Now it's all turned bitter
Just how did it come to this?
Things are getting sicker
A fight's gonna brew


CHORUS

So why do you want to break me?
If you cared then you'd just want to save me, so tell me
Why are you feeling so angry?
Why do you, why do you, why do you want to break me down?


VERSE 2

Feelings to the contrary
Nothing of sincerity
Reflecting insanity
Back from the mirror

You can't understand me
The trip gong signals misery
Fight to the end
A new Zeitgeist draws nearer


PRE CHORUS

Now it's all turned bitter
Just how did it come to this?
In the echo chamber
The mindless can change reality


CHORUS 2

Why do you want to break me?
If you cared then you'd just want to save me, so tell me
Why are you feeling so angry?
Why do you, why do you, why do you want to break me?

Why do you want to hurt me?
These wounds will never desert me, please tell me
Why are you feeling so badly?
Why do you, why do you, why do you want to break me?


BRIDGE

Slow this down
Let's bring it all around
Turn this cacophony
Into a symphony
Together, understand, we'll build a plan
With some humanity, we can understand


PRE CHORUS

Now it's all turned bitter
But we can get out of this
Epistemic bubbles
Are destined to burst


CHORUS

Why do you want to break me?
If you cared then you'd just want to save me, so tell me
Why are you feeling so angry?
Why do you, why do you, why do you want to break me?

Why do you want to hurt me?
These wounds will never desert me, please tell me
Why are you feeling so badly?
Why do you, why do you, why do you want to break me?

Why do you, why do you, why do you want to break me?
======================

Intro
Dm F Bb C
Dm Bb C

Verse / Solo
Cm Bb Ab
Cm Bb Ab

Pre Chorus
G Ab
G Bb
G5 (2nd PC only)

Chorus
Dm F Bb C (x2 except 1st chorus)
Dm Bb C

Bridge
Bb Dm Eb Bb
Eb Bb D G

ChrisPrice

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« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2024, 05:16:09 PM »
Wow..this one reeled me in right away! I especially like the chord progressions here. The chorus is really catchy. I appreciate the inclusion of chords so I can see what you're doing and also details of software. Nice to see how others create rock tracks. No nits from me. I enjoyed this one. :)

rightly

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« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2024, 06:12:37 PM »
A well trodden path, trod again, n why not?.
I do like the bashing guitars.
Excellent production.
Very radio friendly sound.
Well done.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

Skub

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« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2024, 06:57:21 PM »
Yo Bankie.

This is a real ball grabber of a track. The intro surges in like a tidal wave of sound and carries the listener on relentlessly. There's just enough dynamics at work to prevent ear tiredness,but yeah if I'd any hair left it would be blown straight back.

A brill track man,thanks for sharing.   8)

subvibe

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« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2024, 07:28:11 PM »

Hi

This is full on & sounding great
Neutron 4 is a really good tool

Its not my genre but its played & mixed very well

subvibe

Carlonely

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« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2024, 08:34:11 PM »
Good work, man!
Your song has a really good flow except for the transition into the bridge. I'd probably "prepare" it a bit more by changing the beat in the last part of the chorus right before. Apart from that, there's nothing to criticise :)
I really enjoy that the guitars are not as overdriven as they usually are in that genre. It somehow makes them more catchy and not just a wall of sound.
Carlonely - JonasK

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #6 on: January 22, 2024, 01:16:43 AM »
That certainly got my feet tapping! I'm ready to go dancing now...  I enjoyed that a lot!

Vicki

RC James

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« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2024, 02:05:57 AM »
Real strong stuff - Love the instrumentation though the vocal seems a little lo in the mix.

If you cared then you'd just want to save me, so tell me
Why are you feeling so angry?  I think you could cut this down some.

To something like this: If you cared then you'd just want/
to save me, why so angry? Just a suggestion to cut down on verbiage, but definitely a strong piece.

Whiskey Club

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« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2024, 08:46:43 AM »
Excellent stuff!  Nice harmonic progression. He has a killer voice.  Love the build up to the end.

Cheers - John.

shadowfax

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« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2024, 10:24:55 AM »
A raving rocker, worked in all areas for me, maybe the vocal was a bit low in the mix but hey..what do i know?
really enjoyed the track.. 8)
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Nick Ryder

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« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2024, 10:55:37 AM »
This is fab. I love the production and musicality. Thanks for the production notes too - I think there's something to be learnt here for everyone.

Interesting that whilst most of the song is driving guitars, you chose to dial them back in the guitar solo. What a great change in dynamic.

I guess the other think to say is that this is a songwriters forum and not a singer / songwriters forum, so using someone else to sing your songs, if that is what is best for the song, is absolutely the right thing to do.

Top work my friend.

Bankie

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« Reply #11 on: January 22, 2024, 05:52:44 PM »
@ChrisPrice Thanks for listening. I wish others would include chords, though I would probably listen first, then take a look so I could check if I was listening properly

@rightly Agreed that the style isn't original, but I do find that bands who go all-out for catchy rock tend not to sustain it for long. I'm writing what I want to listen to myself, and I'd say it's good advice to do that, whatever the style.

@Skub Thanks, man - exactly what I was going for.

@subvibe Ha, didn't think for a sec it was your type of thing, but great to have an open mind to different genres.

@Carlonely Interesting comment regarding the transition (or lack of) to the bridge. It's the only transition that never changed through the entire process, and I really like the sudden "slow down" (though it's a change of beat rather than tempo). I'll source more feedback on that, and if anyone else wants to chime in here, I'd be grateful. I'm glad you appreciated the lack of drive - I did need to add a bit more for the bridge, but in general I'm trying to hold it back a bit sometimes, and I should have written a bit about it on the notes. Loads of drive can sound great, but you do lose a lot of the subtleties and definition unless you spread the detail on to more guitar tracks.

@CaliaMoko Glad you liked it. I'm not a foot-tapper usually, but yeah, I did find myself tapping away when I was writing it.

@RC James I'm not so sure about cutting down the word count, and this would change the dynamic quite a lot. I don't think I can hear what you're driving at, but I appreciate the attentive listen. Regarding low vocals, that's 2 votes for that so far. If anything, I had thought the vocals were a little high, but looks like I'll need to check that further on different setups.

@Whiskey Club Thanks, glad you liked it. I seem to fall into harmonic minor progressions a lot - I'm trying to mix it up a bit on my next song.

@shadowfax Always appreciate your comments, thanks. See above re low vocals - will check that a bit more closely.

@Nick Ryder If I get pass marks on production from you, that's a great sign :) I'm not sure I'll go back to singing my songs again, unless I run out of money :) My productivity and inspiration has gone through the roof since I stopped restricting myself to stuff I can sing. I have a YouTube idea, btw - snippets of my songs before and after. First me singing the guide vocals, then the real singer. It's quite a difference :)

Elvis Nash

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« Reply #12 on: January 22, 2024, 06:23:46 PM »
Wow great track man
a lot of nunaces going on in productions
solid songwriting with a cool story
All thumbs up from me !!!!

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #13 on: January 22, 2024, 06:30:23 PM »
Wow ! This really rocks @bankie and you've got yourself a damn fine vocalist although I did think that the vocals got a bit lost volume wise during the verses. It was really interesting to read your notes that accompany the song. It's a great insight into your process. I love the chord progression on this song in particular and great work breaking into half time on the bridge. Another quality piece of work from you sir !  :)

Theresa

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« Reply #14 on: January 22, 2024, 11:05:57 PM »
I couldn't hear the voice well in a few parts BUT, absolute headbanger. From start to finish I was moving to the beat!