[CaliaMoko]

Song #2 in the 10-week songwriting challenge on Facebook. The prompt for this one was "juvenile". Feedback on lyrics, melody, and style very welcome. If you have ideas for production, that would be wonderful, too.

The song is here: https://soundcloud.com/caliamoko/we-were-young

We Were Young

My youth is in the past;
At the time I thought it would last forever
To my surprise time went too fast
That’s okay because my life kept getting better

I was young; you were young. We were invincible, powerful
I was young; you were young. We were immortal, we were young

Memories from long ago
Enchanting my life with every heartbeat
Sandy beaches, moon aglow
Dancing together in the summer heat

I was young; you were young. We were invincible, powerful
I was young; you were young. We were immortal, we were young

Yesterday swimming in the dark
We were sure we’d be going far
All the changes in our storyline
Brought us where we are and we’re doing fine

I was young; you were young. We were invincible, powerful
I was young; you were young. We were immortal, we were young

Copyright 2024 Vicki Morrison Goble

[Whiskey Club]

Keep ‘em coming.  Love the song and the delivery.  That artwork though!  What a stunning photo.  Thumbs up from me.

Cheers - John.

[CaliaMoko]

Thank you, ( @Whiskey Club ) John! I found the artwork on pixabay.com, my go-to place when I need images.

[crexes]

Lovely song - great job!

[pompeyjazz]

This is lovely @CaliaMoko Vicki. It has such an innocent and real feel to it. I love the whistle and the great harmonies. The live drums have great feel to them. Hey ! We’re all young. Brilliant stuff Vicki 😎

[CorkingCrackBand]

Hi @CaliaMoko

  I lovely melody and your vocals are charmingly soft and warm. A very melancholic feel. I love the recorder (?) and the whole feel of the song. Effective lyrics really capture that sense of nostalgia but with a life affirming sense of the present 'and we're doing fine'.

 A really wonderful song. Thank you for sharing.

CCB

[rightly]

I read the lyrics first
I thought they were great
Economic
I really enjoyed the listen
And I'll listen some more. Fabulous 👌

[adamfarr]

Hi Vicki - a great song - everything working together. The space before the third line of the verse is a surprise but actually great to add interest. Love the harmonies. Great to hear these songs from you.
 

[CaliaMoko]

Thanks, guys!! @crexes @pompeyjazz @rightly @adamfarr

It's great to be part of the forum again. It's been a journey!

The high instrument is a VST flute. The "live" drums are provided by a VST called Jamstix. I haven't begun to learn what it can do yet, but I have figured out how to tell it how many measures each of verse, chorus, etc...plus what style to use and who to "hire" for a drummer. 

And I just noticed an error in my recording...in the second verse I'm signing "Enchanting my heart..." instead of "Enchanting my life..."  Maybe I'll get around to fixing that.

I really appreciate the support! If you do think of something that could be improved, please also mention that. I am not thin-skinned!

[Skub]

Hi Vicki,good to hear you making music.

The sentiments in the song are ones I am very familiar with and I like the positive spin on concentrating on the here and now,rather than mourning the lost past. We are children of the past,living in the present.

[ChrisPrice]

This is lovely. Honestly I was welling up when I heard this. Great vocals from you and fabulous backing. Sparse but that's the beauty of this track. A great song Vicki

[CaliaMoko]

Thanks! @Skub @ChrisPrice

Davy, I love your comment: "We are children of the past, living in the present." That sounds like a good song idea!  One of my primary goals in life is to find the positive in as much as possible.

Chris, Ahhh, thank you so much! It's very rewarding to hear you were moved by this.

And thank you to everyone who has listened! I appreciate it so much!

Vicki

[Bankie]

Hi Vicki. Really enjoyed that - reminded me that this place is about songwriting and not about pristine productions. The melody was lovely and the whole song pieced together perfectly, and just the right length. I could imagine this being done in just about any style and still working well - that's the sign of a good song. Nice work.

[CaliaMoko]

Thank you, @Bankie ! I do hope to learn about production eventually; I've even taken a college class, but it was only an introduction. I hope to take a more advanced class next fall. I'll still be a beginner after that, too, though.

I appreciate your nice words!

Vicki

[Elvis Nash]

Cool song girl
were always fascinated on growing old , you captured it on this
Nice job !!!