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Beneath the Streetlight (in Gm for the Key Challenge)

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adamfarr:
(Edit now with lyrics)
Hi all - I thought I'd post this here quietly to get some first comments before calling it finished.


This was for the key challenge of course, and the allocated key was really not right for me. But I got about 14 tracks in before thinking too much about it so it was hard to restart. On the bright side, like this my voice sounds exactly like Tom Waits. I do like this song so I may re-record a little higher.


Background: I read somewhere about Russian soldiers being recruited from remote villages and told that Ukraine was a crappy country that needed to be liberated, only to arrive there and find that Ukrainians were doing fine and had luxuries they had never seen before like roads and streetlights. And dying sucks but going back to live in poverty is not that appealing either. And for the ordinary ones, the fighting seems all for nothing anyway.


Anyhow, let's have your comments - all welcome.


https://on.soundcloud.com/hFeMr

Beneath the Streetlight
V1
There’s only one way in to my home town
Up the mountain, past the dogs, along the track
For guys like me there's only one way out
In uniform to serve the motherland

Far from home, the first lampposts I’ve seen
The local kids like us but better fed
Time to bomb your roads and libraries
The enemy are barbarians they said

CH
Beneath the streetlight
There lies a fading shape
Beneath the streetlight
A dying dog, or someone’s son
The streetlight fights for life
The streetlight dies
And nothing ever changes in the long run

V2
I picture living back in my home town
For every guy ten girls are waiting there
On feast days one of them might drag us out
To see the war memorial in our chairs

The only gift I have to give are stories
Of the Motherland and how she gave away my legs
But no ministers ever died or lived like this
The enemies are the foreigners they said

CH
Beneath the streetlight
There lies a fading shape
Beneath the streetlight
A dying dog,  or someone’s son
To feel something I’ll shoot him in the eye
Cos nothing ever changes in the long run

CH
Beneath the streetlight
There lies a fading shape
Beneath the streetlight
A dying dog,  or someone’s son
Not time to die, no reason to survive
Cos nothing ever changes in the long run

Wicked Deeds:
Good morning @adamfarr, 

I've been looking out for the final entries to the key challenge.  I hope that other entrants at least will revisit the forum to review each of the songs from entrants who have reviewed their work but I guess you still have additional production elements to add.

I expected to see your challenge entry in the finished songs section.

I never really understood why a key change alters how a person approaches writing the melody of a song.  I guess a writer can finish a melody and then transpose it into another key, higher or lower then it would have a significant impact but if you choose a key then write a melody then it shouldn't alter the the range of notes that you choose in such a way that you struggle to sing it.

and so to your challenge entry.  Listening to the entry, I would swear that this had been recorded in a bygone time.  It's a good chord sequence and you've made this very interesting.  It's also a great twist on the "Beneath The Street Light" title.  I expected something quite different and it is so good to hear writers with different approaches.  I think the limited palette of sounds suits this song very well.  It's a lovely melody and fine story-telling.  I'd perhaps reconsider the final Stacatto ending but overall, there is charm in abundance here.

I haven't forgotten about "The Flirtatious Librarian.  I'm sure Andy will finish the vocal and then I will send it on to you.


Paul

MichaelA:
Very much liked the narrative and overall observation. It was like an old fashioned troubadour song of old. The musical style definitely suits the theme.

I really liked the guitar intro, and you could possibly revisit that in the middle, although it’s quite long already. It does add quite a lot of musical interest.

I think you’re very much on the right lines and it works in its simplified form. But I look forward to hearing the final developed thing.

Well done for just about coping with that key, ha ha! 👍

PaulAds:
Shaping up really well, Adam.

I love the intro…I’d have been really tempted to have used that more throughout the song. I don’t know where you read that story…but it did sound (to me, at least) typical of the barely-disguised racist twaddle that we seem to lob in the general direction of that gas station masquerading as a country by way of lifelong habit. The only time we weren’t hell-bent on destroying it was when we’d almost persuaded Gorbachev and Yeltsin to destroy it themselves . It will be fascinating (and, I suspect horrifying) to see how well Ukraine is doing once this completely avoidable tragedy is over. I think if the general public in The West heard most of the stories that I’ve read about the Ukraine/Russia “war” , we’d be getting them (and us) out of that horrible mess before it destroys all of the EU and NATO as well.

Back to the song  ::) I had a similar thing with the key I got lumbered with…I wrote the song in the key I was given and then changed the key to be able to sing it. I didn’t really have any choice, as it was awful with me straining my voice. I was fortunate that I’d only used software instruments so could easily transpose it to somewhere manageable.

Drums seemed a little apologetic when they came in…I’d maybe have given them a bit more welly. Acoustic sounds really good…lyrics are very good and unconventional too…though I missed not being able to follow them written down. I thought perhaps you could maybe have sung it a little higher up?

adamfarr:
Thanks everyone - a few ideas for me to work on - let’s see whether I can soldier on with this (lol) or redo in Am or something.

The “kalinka” part can definitely come back but I’m not sure how much more developed this is going to get. I quite like the idea that it’s a 1+1 but with a bit of added spice if you listen closely.

On keys - maybe I am not skillful enough to avoid the obvious root notes - or maybe you can tell that the progression came before the melody… anyhow sometimes songs just seem to want to go in a particular direction and anything else just seems wrong.

Thanks everyone - this challenge was great overall and for me definitely took me in some new directions.

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