[adamfarr]

Hi - managed to work through this over the last few days.

As ever, I reached for war, inequality, and hopelessness. (I think I wrote a happy song once but I can't remember it.) Also, these unusual keys are giving me tendonitis.

I will claim poetic licence, as the title I was given was "Beneath the Streetlamps" LOL.

Not quite 100% there but getting close I think. Possibly it sounds more powerful played than written down. Hopefully.

Beneath the Streetlights

V1
There’s only one way in to my home town
Up the mountain, past the dogs, along the track
For guys like me there's only one way out
In uniform to serve the motherland

Far from home, the first lampposts I’ve seen
The local kids like us, but better fed
Time to bomb their roads and libraries
The enemy are barbarians they said

CH
Beneath the streetlight
There lies a fading shape
Beneath the streetlight
A dying dog, or someone’s son
The streetlight fights for life
The streetlight dies
And nothing ever changes in the long run

V2
I picture living back in my home town
For every guy ten girls are waiting there
Hoping one of them might wheel us out
To see the war memorial in our chairs

Ten girls who once wished for dancing shoes
Not regiments of boots lined up to scrub
Now they dream of streetlights, roads or schools 
When the snows are gone we’re always left with mud

V3
The only gift you have to give are stories
Of things you saw that they will never see
But the ministers never had to live like this
Who are the barbarians in reality

[MichaelA]

This looks like a powerful one brewing Adam, and you’re brave going into subject matter that’s outside of your comfort zone. But, of course, it’s very topical and certainly grabs your attention.

Being a bit too fussy about rhymes I guess I’d have to hear the tune to see why you chose not to go for a more regular rhyme scheme. Like maybe ‘wheel us down’ to rhyme with town, or ‘tracks of sand’ to maybe rhyme with motherland. But at my age, I’m probably just too old fashioned and conventionally structured to pass judgement on these things.

Good luck putting it together musically, anyway. Looks promising. But I have to say I feel quite saddened by the world you created in just a few lines. So economical writing, indeed. Which is always good.

[pompeyjazz]

This looks very promising Adam - Looking forward to your interpretation

[adamfarr]

Thanks guys - @MichaelA on the rhymes, I just found perfect rhymes a bit too nice for the subject matter (I kept one for impact). So I worked hard on finding near rhymes which might be more interesting and less twee, and which I am hoping still work OK. We'll see...

[MichaelA]

Hi Adam. yes that's perfect sense. Great stuff.