Hi Calafinestrat.
I think you’re right about country being the most – or certainly one of the most – literate genres. Lots of room to tell a story and fill its rooms with visual imagery.
The flow is good, and V1, line 1, sets the pace, getting nicely right off the mark. Good action verb with ‘stormed’.
I’ve made a few quick observations below, which I hope are helpful, as intended. Just one person’s opinion. Keep or sweep, of course. 😊
Donna
Verse 1
The minute you stormed out the door
I knew it was over of that I was sure
Can't say I blame you, I hurt you, I shamed you
And you couldn't take it no more
Verse 2
I've done some dumb stuff in my time
And said crazy things when I've had too much wine
But this time I blew it, immediately knew it
I must have been out of my mind.
Chorus
I suggest giving the chorus a rhyme scheme and structure different from the verses. The contrast will add interest and appeal, especially with the possibility of dynamic variations in the music.Come back to me please I beg you
My life is so empty don't know what to do
Lets get back together I'll love you forever
Maybe mention a couple of specific things that the narrator will do for the singee?And make all your wishes come true
What might one or two of those wishes be?Verse 3
Always went under its spell
Boozing and I were a match made in hell
Cursing accusing but never amusing
No wonder you bid me farewell
I suggest having another chorus here, followed by a bridge.Verse 4
Maybe consider turning V4 into a bridge in order to add fresh impetus and momentum. This will be a welcome surprise for the listener. I suggest giving it it a different rhyme scheme and line lengths, and dropping the internal rhyme in line 3. That way, the repetition of internal rhymes in line 3 in the verses won’t feel overdone.Stopped drinking, I wont start again
After its caused so much heartache and pain
I promise its over been clean since October
And that's how Its gonna remain
Chorus
