[CorkingCrackBand]

A quick warning to those who don't appreciate my use of auto tune - run away now.

I've been sitting on this for a few weeks now. I thought it would be a nice little throw away portrait of the way that establishment class kids are brought up, be it by parents or institutions they come in contact with (hence the intended lyrical blurring) however, the general consensus seems to be that it needs something extra as it's a bit samey. That's true but it was sort of my intention.

I'm thinking of adding some guitar to the 'mummy made me' section in the hope of defining it better and broadening the soundscape but in all honesty I'm struggling for motivation to get on with it. I guess that's the problem with a quick, one session 'that'll do' song - the moment you start to pick at it, it all falls apart.  I'll also fiddle with the drums and vary the pattern as I only made the 2 drum parts - that might do the job alone.

   For when I sit down to define the sections better, do any of you have any suggestions beyond the above?

CCB



Would you like the job, boy?
Just prove yourself to me
You needn’t sweat or graft, boy
I see your university.

Did you sleep in dorms, boy?
Or did daddy drag you back,
To domestic bliss and mummy’s kiss,
Where it’s only love you lack?

I want to know what you’ll do with me.

We’ll make you work, son
You’ll tow the party line
You’ll conform to the norm
And not turn back in time

Mummy made me
Mummy mummy made me
And Daddy too
Mummy made me
Mummy mummy made me
What did they do?

You’ll listen to me
'Til you hear my voice as yours
You’ll not see the seams, boy
When they hold our sacred laws

I want to know what you’ll do with me.

Mummy made me
Mummy mummy made me
And Daddy too
Mummy made me
Mummy mummy made me
What did they do?

We’ll guard and guide you
'Til you can guard yourself
We’ll poke and prick you
Oh it's all for your good health
We’ll show you the path, son
That you will have to tread
and you will walk it
Until your dead

You’ll join the few
That protect our promised land
From the many billions
That can never, ever, truly understand.

[MichaelA]

Hi CCB, thank goodness no body parts being eaten this time! 😉 But what this one does show is that you are a real ‘attention to detail’ song maker. There’s a lot of subtle nuances and additions to this that makes it a very engaging listen. The sweet and innocuous  melody is no doubt purposely set at odds with the sinister lyrics theme of indoctrination and control. Very smart work.

I really enjoyed this one, extremely well ‘layered’, if you get me. 👍

[CorkingCrackBand]

Hi @MichaelA

Sincere response: Thanks so much for listening and giving your thoughts. I can be amazingly shoddy as a songwriter, depending on my mood, so I thank you for seeing 'the little things'. This is contrary to the other feedback that I received which was that essentially it was a bit boring, indistinct and one note. I was aiming for mundane due to the lyric but I could see the point being made - which brings me to...

Silly response: The hell man! I come here asking for critique and a kick up the arse and you rock up, all full of compliments and ego boosts. I see what your doing - trying to make me lazy and complacent. Well let me tell you buster, I ain't got no laurels to rest on - I did, but they withered and wasted under the weight of my burgeoning backside. I'm going to go back and make this a No. 1 hit - you hear me!

Unless... you knew I'd react like this and this is the old reverse psychology technique... mmm... what to do? ... am I the player? ... or being played? ... hmmm... I need to sit down, my head hurts. Anyone got some laurels I can use? 

CCB

re - the silly response, I've been at work since 5 this morning - blame that. Not me. Never blame me.

I don't take drugs...

[CorkingCrackBand]

For what it's worth, I'm both perplexed and irritated by my response.

[PaulAds]

I thought this was great.

[MichaelA]

@CorkingCrackBand, chill man. It was just a gentle compliment. Maybe you should not reply to posts when under the influence of alcohol or whatever else you are on. 

Talking from experience, that is! Mind, you’ve certainly made this place more fun since you’ve arrived. So do stick around. 😉

[CorkingCrackBand]

Hopefully it came across but my tongue was firmly in cheek in that post. I certainly wasn’t having a go.  tone is very difficult to convey in text (for me) but I was going for comic exaggeration. I’ll be more careful not to post in the grey area of tonal uncertainty in future.  In retrospect a simple ‘thank you’ might have been the safest bet.
 *edit to add that I’m aware I’m not great at receiving compliments (often deflecting with humour) and will try to be better*

And no drugs, (and I don’t drink) - just insomnia. 

 Cheers @PaulAds - maybe I’ll just leave the song as is.

Ta to you both for listening. Off to work with me…

CCB