Oh won't you come near

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Misanthropist

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« on: August 16, 2022, 08:17:24 AM »

I'm getting out of here can't be part of any crime
This border town's changing hands for the umpteenth time
If you want to look for me the address is clear
West of Mary East of Bill holding up my beer

You are not so sure of me or my whereabouts
To be fair to you even I've had my doubts
If you look for me the address is clear
West of you East of me or roundabout here

Now I've lost track for your gorgeous eyes
So let's say my next address is scenic paradise
If you look for me the address is clear
West of love East of love oh won't you come near


LoJo538

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« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2022, 07:27:28 AM »
I kind of like the first verse. It seems to set up an interesting story. It almost has  a film noir vibe. The final verse could work well, but we need to hear the specifics of the dodgy tale that occurs in between.

Are you being chased by the new "owners" of this border town? How are you going to escape? And where is the chorus that sums up the moral of the story?

Intriguing skeleton. Put some meat on him.