Dream Away

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mage

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« on: July 03, 2022, 04:32:52 PM »
Heya!

This is Dream Away, a song I intended to be about feelgood escapesim, but it somehow turned out more melancholic and I actually can't point my finger to the mood it now conveys. ???
I thought it was interesting that it doesn't follow the classic verse - chorus pattern, but it turned kinda short now.

Anyways I'd appreciate any critisism and suggestions!

https://soundcloud.com/matt-gee-308344560/dreamaway2?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing


The lyrics:

Close your eyes and dream away
play some pictures from your memory
breach the clouds and see
the limit is your fantasy

let go of all that pulls you down
leave it all behind dont turn around
rise up to the peak
and fall into tranquility

shake off all the remedies
of past and present miseries

as your dream unfolds you might
watch the colors of the world ignite
listen for the melody
in nature's perfect harmony

send your beam of hope into the night
for in somebody's darkness you're the light
time is standing still
maybe it forever will

so wake up from your dream for now

-


PS:
I'm thinking about changing the last line to "so wake up when you hear the sound" which maybe would make a better connection to the last guitar melody, what do you think?
« Last Edit: July 03, 2022, 04:38:40 PM by mage »

Martinswede

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« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2022, 12:30:07 PM »
Hi mage!

My main suggestion would be to slow the song down a bit and add more of the background sound sounds that appear in the middle of the song. A bit of sustained keyboard maybe. A good song but giving the lyrics a bit more room to breathe might add more of a merge with the lyrics.

/Martin