Brand New (WorkInProgress)

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dinnerwithgreedo

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« on: May 25, 2022, 04:36:30 PM »
Hi everyone, @PaulyX noticed my absence (along with others) from the group for a while. It's been ages.
Long story short, i've been trying to re-record some of my old tunes to a 'professional' standard. Trying is the operative word as I have no idea what i'm doing.

Anyways, I said I'd post a song so you can see how I'm doing.
All comments welcome, if you think something needs changing let me know. Hope you like it.


LYRICS

Sit back, have drink, and a cigarette if you think it helps to numb the pain.
It won't work, too much hurt.
Did you think when you broke my heart again you'd feel brand new?

I can't keep on losing sleep until i'm over you.
I think i've had enough and although i'll find it tough
I'm gonna get over you.
Over you

Sit back, have a think. Think of all the times that we once shared, although in vain.
Ray of hope, helps me cope. Didn't think i could ever smile again and feel brand new.
« Last Edit: June 01, 2022, 09:32:20 PM by dinnerwithgreedo »
Remember.... it's just my opinion. It doesn't make me right. Although i probably am ;)

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2022, 09:13:28 PM »
Hey @dinnerwithgreedo Great to see you back in these parts. This is excellent. I'm a real sucker for the Rhodes keyboard sound and I really admire your restraint in doing the first verse and chorus with just keys and vocals. What this track has is an incredible build and it's absolutely perfect in that respect. I love it when the really wild guitar comes in later in the song. This is top, top quality mate and great to listen to some of your material again. Loved it  :)

PaulyX

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« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2022, 11:23:06 PM »
Indeed, great to have a Greedo creation back on the boards.  Before listening I was secretly hoping it'd have some of that Beatles-y flavour you sometimes have in your tracks, and I wasn't disappointed... the chords have that "Hey Jude" kind of lovely rolling build to them.  And like Pomps says, epic build in this... of course in the instrumentation but also in the vocal delivery... it goes on a real journey before the sweet break down right at the end.  You call it "work in progress" but it sounds very almost there to me... Maybe if pushed some more effects on the main vocal?  But I really didn't think it needed much more.  Great stuff Greedo!  Thanks for sharing.
It's all too beautiful.

StevieJ

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« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2022, 08:39:42 AM »
Hi mate, your voice is very good, great tone and I love the melody, if I'm honest I was kind of disappointed when the full instrumentation kicked in, I was either hoping for it to continue with just Piano or to kick into something more modern. Not that it wasn't good it's just as the song started I could really see it going into something more modern sounding. There's a couple of songs from artists in recent times that have been remixed into more upbeat songs the ones that spring to mind is Lasting Lover by James Arthur and Through The Fire by Tom Grennan which Chase & Status remixed. This song you have so far is big enough to get that treatment too, I'm not sure if that's something you'd consider doing at all but I'd love to hear it if you did go that way. Anyway it's still a very decent song with relatable lyrics and cracking vocal. nice work.

Jamie

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« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2022, 01:59:04 PM »
Hi, very nice chord structure, love an electric piano. Nicely sung and played. At the 'oh oh oh over you' made me think of Andy Pratt. Very good.

Cheers


Jamie

Maya Clars

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« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2022, 09:05:34 PM »
Beautiful and calm song with an interesting melody. Great keyboards, beautiful strings. The guitar solo is very harmonious.
Maybe I might be wrong, but it seems to me that in vocals on the loud sounds and on the "S" letter, when I listen to it in headphones, I can hear slight distortion that sometimes appears.
In general, the song is really good to listen to!

Maya

MonnoDB

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« Reply #6 on: May 28, 2022, 06:59:18 PM »
This is gorgeous @dinnerwithgreedo .. love the Rhodes/vox portion of the song and the harms are soooo lovely when they come in. Lovely melody. Jude transition into the fuller part. It’s a fine song and shines through so both sparse and fuller arrangements work really well.

Really good vocal too.

Welcome back! More please!!!

K

moraamarolaloba

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« Reply #7 on: May 28, 2022, 07:41:16 PM »
Hola @dinnerwithgreedo
I like the sound of the voice, it contrasts great with the electric piao.
It would be great if you shared the lyrics, so I will understand the entire lyrics.
I like the ooooo ooooo ooooo and when the song opens with the appearance of the rest of the instruments.
Maybe the electric piano intro could be shorter?...

Good track!!

Mora
I did not know that to live we had to die so many times
My Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow

dinnerwithgreedo

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« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2022, 01:31:39 PM »
@pompeyjazz - Thank you so much
@PaulyX - I always struggle with making the vocals sound good. Any ideas?
@StevieJ - I think i'm well past sounding modern. There's not much released these days that i like.
@Jamie - Thank you
@Maya Clars - I'm glad you like the guitar solo. I don't write many. That said, in the original mix of this song, that solo was flute. Sounds okay in my headphones, but i'll give it another listen. Thank you
@MonnoDB - Thank you!!
@moraamarolaloba - Lyrics added to my post. When i first wrote the song it didn't have that intro but it needed something there so I stuck the middle part of the song at the front. Plus i like the chords (coz they're unusual).

Thanks again ALL.
Remember.... it's just my opinion. It doesn't make me right. Although i probably am ;)

Sterix

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« Reply #9 on: June 02, 2022, 12:42:54 PM »
Lovely melody. Nice to see you back on the forum.

shadowfax

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« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2022, 04:24:58 PM »
This is a super song mate..just super, vocal sounds fab except for the bit of sibilance that is easily rectified, I feel that the guitar break lets the song down a little, the song doesn't need it and would sound more modern without it in my very humble opinion...this is super work and you should be dead chuffed!
Soundcloud Shadowfax6

from the nightmare!

Neil C

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« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2022, 09:17:34 AM »
@dinnerwithgreedo
Well no matter where you’ve been I’m think this great.
Cool song, with Beatles chord changes and a bit of power pop as it builds. I’m thinking US popster JellyFish.
Everting works. Vocals are clear, drums kick and guitar sounds dry 70 retro.
The soaring vocal line in the chorus is to die for. Fabulously sung too :-
Going to have another listen
Love the 2nd verse kicks in and great melodic solo.
Thoughts, I think the title is ‘over you’ as that’s the line you repeat in the chorus. And on the first over you at 58 secs is a tad pitchy and a little quiet.
Powerful and direct. I’d but an LP of this stuff.
:-) :-)
Neil
« Last Edit: June 07, 2022, 09:28:44 AM by Neil C »
songwriter of no repute..