[StevieJ]

Hi, so I wrote this song thinking back to the early stages of being in a relationship and if you have or had an addiction that you hadn't yet come to terms with and therefore weren't open about it at the start and then it starts to become clear to that person which puts a strain on the relationship however you want to talk about it and get through it with them but you're scared to lose them. Apologies if none of that makes any sense anyway here's the song and lyrics so any feedback would be really appreciated. thank you :O)

https://soundcloud.com/user-586564289/the-truth-fawm-demo?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing


THE TRUTH - LYRICS

V1
I remember when we
Used to be happy
before I f*cked around
You’re still my number one
I wish we could still have funok
But it’s a distant memory now

Chorus
I was hoping you would let it slide
And say you didn’t care anyway, anyway
But since there’s no place to hide
I guess I’m looking for a better day, a better way
To get through this with you
It’s all I wanna do
But nothing quite hurts like the truth

V2
I know that you still care
Otherwise you wouldn’t be here
Despite the chaos I’ve brought to your door
I want to speak the truth
Be open and honest with you
But what if you don’t want me anymore?

Chorus
I was hoping you would let it slide
And say you didn’t care anyway, anyway
But since there’s no place to hide
I guess I’m looking for a better day, a better way
To get through this with you
It’s all I wanna do
But nothing quite hurts like the truth

Bridge
It’s an illness without a cure
It’s a pitbull off it’s leash
It creeps up on me everyday with gritted teeth
Will you guide me through this fight?
Will you be there to hold me tight?
When it’s dark shine a light for me
Will you guide me through this fight?
Will you be there to hold me tight?
When it’s dark shine a light for me

Chorus
I was hoping you would let it slide
And say you didn’t care anyway, anyway
But since there’s no place to hide
I guess I’m looking for a better day, a better way
To get through this with you
It’s all I wanna do
But nothing quite hurts like the truth

[moraamarolaloba]

 Hola @StevieJ

I really like the delicate piano notes, and that bass is fantastic. Good vibe in the ritual, very nice. I think it's a different, special song that moves well over such a minimalist arrangement. I liked it a lot.
Perhaps I would lower the volume of the voice a little, nothing more than that is what I have noticed in my speakers.

This line is fantastic :
I know that you still care
Otherwise you wouldn’t be here
Despite the chaos I’ve brought to your door
Very nice.

Very enjoyable listening!
Mora

[PaulyX]

Hi Stevie
Your voice sounds really good in this - exposed and not too effected - makes it sound authentic.
I did like the minimalist treatment but I reckon for a song of this length it'd benefit from more of a build going on as you get into the later verses.  I guess there are tonnes of options there of layers you could add - bigger percussion, bass etc.  Or maybe you intentionally want it really sparse... which does work too... just goes on a bit too long for that format for me personally.
I liked the way the vocal melody goes to some new (higher) places at the end of the bridge. That'd probably add some spice in the choruses too.
Good lyrics - especially the "pitbull" line stood out to me.

[cowparsleyman]

@StevieJ - Love this man, a really lovely sparse production, sits very with the subject, intimate and raw, A few wrinkles but they can be ironed out, no extra anything, just tighten ups really.

Very hooky, I'm going to play this  one a lot.

The ending needs working on.

[Kafla]

Loved this from the first beat....

Very cinematic arrangement and production,,,, great lyrics and laconic vocal.

Well done mate

[StevieJ]

@PaulyX @cowparsleyman @kafla @moraamarolaloba thank you so much for listening and your comments, much appreciated. It certainly needs a little tightening up in places and I will see if i can add a bit of spice maybe a little more the end as you're right it does drag a bit so I think adding a bit more won't make it feel so long hopefully. thanks again anyway :O)

[ChrisPrice]

This is a clever piece. I need to play it a time or two to fully appreciate it I think. Great sparse arrangement as has already been said. No crits from me. Great track

[Jamie]

Hi, I love the piano motif, it works really well against the vocal. The spartan arrangement is very good and works well, there are a few minor things that need to be sorted, but a very good song built on a very nice arrangement.

Cheers

Jamie

[bigFishAndTheSmallPondets]

Sounds so sad. I feel you really allowed your emotions to come through on this song, which I think was really brave.

It's a very sparse arrangement, which I think worked perfectly with the song. Your voice sounds so fragile and lonely.

I really love the sudden uplift on the last line of 'When it’s dark shine a light for me'. The harmony comes together perfectly. I really hope this symbolises for you a chance to overcome some of the issues you are singing about.

Incredibly touching.

I wish you all the very best for you.

Hi, so I wrote this song thinking back to the early stages of being in a relationship and if you have or had an addiction that you hadn't yet come to terms with and therefore weren't open about it at the start and then it starts to become clear to that person which puts a strain on the relationship however you want to talk about it and get through it with them but you're scared to lose them. Apologies if none of that makes any sense anyway here's the song and lyrics so any feedback would be really appreciated. thank you :O)

https://soundcloud.com/user-586564289/the-truth-fawm-demo?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing


THE TRUTH - LYRICS

V1
I remember when we
Used to be happy
before I f*cked around
You’re still my number one
I wish we could still have funok
But it’s a distant memory now

Chorus
I was hoping you would let it slide
And say you didn’t care anyway, anyway
But since there’s no place to hide
I guess I’m looking for a better day, a better way
To get through this with you
It’s all I wanna do
But nothing quite hurts like the truth

V2
I know that you still care
Otherwise you wouldn’t be here
Despite the chaos I’ve brought to your door
I want to speak the truth
Be open and honest with you
But what if you don’t want me anymore?

Chorus
I was hoping you would let it slide
And say you didn’t care anyway, anyway
But since there’s no place to hide
I guess I’m looking for a better day, a better way
To get through this with you
It’s all I wanna do
But nothing quite hurts like the truth

Bridge
It’s an illness without a cure
It’s a pitbull off it’s leash
It creeps up on me everyday with gritted teeth
Will you guide me through this fight?
Will you be there to hold me tight?
When it’s dark shine a light for me
Will you guide me through this fight?
Will you be there to hold me tight?
When it’s dark shine a light for me

Chorus
I was hoping you would let it slide
And say you didn’t care anyway, anyway
But since there’s no place to hide
I guess I’m looking for a better day, a better way
To get through this with you
It’s all I wanna do
But nothing quite hurts like the truth

[Maya Clars]

Unique melody design. Original minimalistic sound.
The music is a little bit melancholic for my taste, but overall it's good to listen to.

Maya