[jacksimmons]

It's a lovely topic for a song. Maybe lovely is entirely the wrong word there but...it's an interesting, important topic anyway. Soldiers half way around the world occupying 'foreign lands' aren't topics for much sympathy these days, but I think they can just as much be victims of something bigger. I read a book on the Abu Ghraib scandal once and absolutely everyone, including the soldiers involved, came out seeming destroyed and damaged by a broken malevolent system. Uh, anyway on to the song...

I really like the rhythm of this one. Like others have said it totally matches up with the subject matter. Structurally it's great. 30 seconds for an intro and a verse and then BAM straight into that catchy chorus. I was sat listening to the chorus thinking, hmmm, this needs some harmonies. Then they appeared. Nice work. I am always of the opinion that harmonies could be higher in the mix. I start to sound like a broken record about that though. I'm beginning to think I'm wrong haha.

I have a problem with the vocal mix which is that you are sitting way on top of the track. I think some EQing, volume adjustment, some reverb...all of this will help sit you in the track a bit better. Right now it's like the band are on stage and you're singing in my ear if you know what I mean.

I agree with others about the guitars. They could be punchier. The actual parts are really cool though and perfectly judged. Will be interested to hear how this turns out with the tweaks mentioned above.

Cool track!

[PeteS]

OK so I've heard all the comments on guitars and levels etc.   I've changed amp Sims, added more tracks on both guitar and vocals and I think it's better.  So if you get a chance to give it another spin through @Jack Simmons @pompeyjazz @ChrisPrice @PaulAds @PaulyX @Skub @Jamie and just give an instant reaction that would be great!

Thanks everyone!

[pompeyjazz]

Much, much better for me @PeteS Vocals are well sat in the mix and seem to have a lot more bite - And the guitars really hit you when you get into the chorus. Well worth the work IMO - Fab song 

[PaulAds]

Yes…has more clout to it now, definitely.

It’s funny though…advice and stuff is all well and good…and of course always well-intentioned…but it’s sometimes hard to implement someone else’s ideas. I know I struggle to nudge anything I write in any other direction other than the way I hear it myself. Bravo for taking some ideas on board and giving it another go, Pete!

It’s a great song, either way!

[Skub]

Yeah works well for me @PeteS as John says,the chorus has more focus and punch now.  Killer hook.

[ben krahne]

Very dark but cool

[PeteS]

@pompeyjazz @PaulAds @Skub Thanks for re-listening guys, really appreciate it.

[Jamie]

@PeteS

Hi, yes, this is definitely better, much earthier guitar sounds and the vocals are much punchier!

Nice one!

Jamie

[MonnoDB]

Great chorus - love the BVs... Hard hitting theme and (I didn't hear the original) the production works really well to get the picture across - the SFX work really well including that "trigger" drum line... very effective..

Great song you two - great stuff @PeteS

K

[PeteS]

Thanks to those who re-listened, really helpful.

@MonnoDB Thanks Karen, interesting to get your take as you didn't listen to the original so really pleased it worked for you 👍👍

[jacksimmons]

Heya Pete. Yeah I agree with all the above this mix is way better. It’s really gratifying to see a mix reworked based on the advice given here and come out with such improvement, so nice work. It’s a cracking tune.

[LostBoy]

Great track Pete! I listened to both mixes…the new one a few times….I’m listening on apple pods…..the mix is much better, but in the choruses the layered vocals together are coming across a little harsh…i would look at listening to the grouped vocals alone with an Eq and finding where those harsh bits are poking through and notch them out….it’s an easy problem to fix and often the fault of the fx we use….they might just be too thin all together or need thickening in the lower frequencies…it’s hard to tell for me when not at the daw….I do find that apple pods make things a little brighter than my studio monitors, but this did poke out at me.

I hope it helps.😄🎶👊🏻🎶

It’s such a great chorus and lyric

[PaulyX]

Another vote for the new mix here Pete... the chorus guitars are now a lot punchier and the whole thing sounds clearer.  Well done for taking on the suggestions and polishing it... I know it can be tough to return to something but well worth it in this case.

[PeteS]

@LostBoy Thanks, I'll have a look at the EQ!